


Isn't It Ironic? (Don't You Think?)

by HeyBoy, Huntress79, imhereforgaysuperheroes



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Dad Bucky Barnes, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Kid Fic, M/M, Moana (2016) References, Shrunkyclunks, War Veteran Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-06-26 04:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19760500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyBoy/pseuds/HeyBoy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79, https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhereforgaysuperheroes/pseuds/imhereforgaysuperheroes
Summary: Bucky is used to his daughter bursting into tears in the middle of department stores. What he isn't used to is someone braving the wails and actually being able to stop Becca's tantrum in its tracks. Oh, and he's also not used to that someone being Captain America.AKA, how Steve Rogers calms a screaming kid in Target and falls in love with two more Barneses than he had bargained for.





	1. Summer

**Author's Note:**

> My piece for the Shrunkyclunks 2019 Big Bang! I was lucky enough to get TWO amazing pinch-hitters - give them some love, because their art is amazing. Much love to Mack, my beta and soulmate, and all the folks in the discord.
> 
> This story is fully written and I'll be updating over the next week until it's complete. Be sure to drop a comment and let me know what you think!

[](https://images2.imgbox.com/8b/e9/zziMwM8R_o.jpg)

*********************

[ ](https://images2.imgbox.com/7a/9e/4sYmxgLr_o.jpg)

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”

Bucky fought off the urge to snap at Becca; instead he took a deep breath, fought off his exhaustion, and said, “What is it, sweet pea?”

Becca whirled around, clutching a _Moana_ doll to her chest. “I want it!”

“You just got a toy for your birthday, Becca.”

Becca pouted. “But I _want it!”_

Bucky crouched down to look his daughter in her eyes, already starting to well up with pre-tantrum tears. “We’ve talked about this, sweet pea. I said you could get a special toy for your birthday, and you chose the stuffed Pua.” 

Her bottom lip started quivering. For a moment, Bucky seriously considered giving in; the doll _was_ on the clearance rack, and he did not want to have to deal with a meltdown in this Target while operating on three hours of sleep. But that stupid parenting voice in his brain told him no, he had to stick to his rules. Running a hand over Becca’s curls, he said, “Here, maybe we can get the doll for Chanukah this year.”

“But _I want it now!"_

Becca burst into tears, clutching the doll, and Bucky bit back a curse word. “Chanukah’s in just a few months,” he said weakly, unheard over her cries. The other people in the aisle gave him looks as they walked off. “Becca, let’s put the toy back.” More screams. “Becca. You already got a toy.” 

“Need any help?”

Bucky turned around to snap at whoever thought they could parent better than him when his eyes landed on the most drop dead gorgeous man he’d ever seen in his life. The guy was wearing a baseball cap and a t-shirt that was definitely at least one size too small—Bucky could count his abs, and holy crap were there a lot of them—and he had a soft smile on his face. Wow. Those were some seriously impressive cheekbones.

“Uh—“ Bucky cut off the train of thought running through his head concerning this man and his clothes (or preferably lack thereof) and managed out, “I mean, if you can do something, go ahead. She didn’t have a nap today, so this is pretty par for the course.”

The guy nodded and slowly moved forward, bending down to kneel. “Hi,” he said.

Becca was taken off guard by this stranger, and her wailing was cut off in confusion. She looked from the man to Bucky, and moved to stand behind one of his legs. “Who’s that?” the man asked, gesturing towards the doll.

“Moana,” Becca whispered with a sniffle. 

“Moana. That’s a pretty name.”

“Daddy says it’s from the specific islands.”

“Pacific, sweet pea,” Bucky gently corrected. The man smiled up at him. 

“What’s your name?”

Becca nervously looked up at Bucky; she’d been drilled on stranger danger since she could talk. “It’s okay, sweet pea, I’m here,” he said. “Her name’s Becca.”

“How old are you, Becca?”

She held out four fingers.

“Woah! You’re big!”

Becca grinned and moved out slightly from behind Bucky’s leg. “Daddy calls me a weed.”

“I say you _grow_ like a weed,” Bucky said, exasperated. He definitely did not want this guy thinking he called his daughter a weed.

“You must be getting ready for kindergarten, huh?”

“Uh huh. I got to meet my teacher.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh. She’s one hundred-sixty.”

The man nodded gravely. “That’s pretty old.”

“How old are you?”

“I’m ninety-nine.”

Becca giggled. “No you’re not!”

The man’s face split into a giant smile and Bucky almost had a heart attack; somehow the smile made him look even hotter, which Bucky hadn’t thought possible. “Am too!” He glanced up at Bucky, and Bucky realized that Becca had unknowingly dropped the Moana doll. Slowly and silently, he bent down to retrieve it.

“My daddy used to be an astronaut,” Becca was saying.

Bucky rested the Moana doll on the shelves. Becca didn’t look around. Success.

“Hey Becs,” he said, nearly giddy with relief, “why don’t you go down to the other end, and you can pick out a cereal for breakfast tomorrow.”

Becca cheered and ran off, the man and her dad completely forgotten. The man got up and smiled at Bucky. 

“How the hell did you do that?” Bucky breathed out without thinking.

The guy laughed and took off his cap to run his fingers through his hair. “It’s always easier when you’re not the parent.”

“I guess so,” Bucky said, smiling in spite of himself. He held out his hand. “I’m Bucky.”

The guy took his hand. “Steve.”

As Steve released his hand, his eyes flickered over Bucky, and ended up landing on the empty space where his left arm should be. Bucky braced himself, but Steve didn’t say a word. Just looked up and smiled again. 

“So, an astronaut, huh?”

Bucky huffed a laugh. “She saw Wall-E and ever since she’s loved space. But no, just a boring stay-at-home dad. I also had a part-time job at Subway through college.”

“Just as exciting.”

“Obviously you’ve never worked at Subway, pal.”

Steve’s eyebrows quirked up at the sound of Bucky’s voice. “You from around here?”

“Born and raised,” replied Bucky. “I’m guessing you’re from Brooklyn too?”

Steve nodded. “Red Hook.”

“DUMBO.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Becca’s delighted giggles as she ran back to Bucky. “I’m gonna be Thor!” she cried, holding up the cereal box. Sure enough,Thor's face smiled up at him on the cardboard. A strange look came over Steve’s face. Becca jumped up and down. “THOR THOR THOR!”

“Good choice,” Steve said quietly. “He’s the best.”

Becca looked at him and sighed dramatically. “No, no, no, Back _Widow_ is the best. But they don’t have her.”

“ _Black_ Widow, sweet pea.”

Steve nodded. “You know what, you’re right. She’s pretty cool.” He stepped away. “Well, I should get going.”

"Oh—well, thanks for the help.”

Steve gave him a tight smile and returned Becca’s wave before walking off with a quick pace. Bucky wondered what that was about. Maybe he had a beef with the Avengers, or maybe he’d gotten caught up in that attack in Manhattan. Bucky shrugged, and made sure Becca was holding on to the cart with one hand before starting to walk. She held the Thor cereal box tight to her chest.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky had done a very good job of turning his life into a well-oiled routine since he’d adopted Becca. It went like this:

Monday: Park with Becca in the afternoon (often followed by an ice cream run);

Tuesday: Dinner with Becca: The Original; 

Wednesday: Workout at the gym;

Thursday: Book club;

Friday: Target.

Accordingly, the next Friday found him in the Target once more. This time, he’d decided to leave Becca with Kate rather than risk another meltdown. He’d given thanks for Kate so many times since she’d started babysitting for him, but he was firmly convinced he could never express how grateful he was for these quiet Target trips. Some people went on dates; Bucky went to Target. He waved at Teddy Altman, who always worked this shift, as he grabbed a cart and stopped by the Starbucks for one of those sickeningly sweet whipped cream mochas that he only treated himself to when he was at Target. Kamala had been working at this Target for as long as Bucky had been going to it and always knocked off 75 cents for him when she was working the barista bar. He thanked her, asked how college applications were going and offered some tips, and steered his cart towards clearance. As he was debating whether or not he needed this novelty pad of paper, he happened to glance up and saw, to his great surprise, the same guy from last week. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he stepped forward and said, “Hey!” Steve startled and turned around, but when he realized it was Bucky he smiled bashfully.

“Hey. Missing Moana tonight?”

“She’s at home _watching Moana_ tonight,” Bucky said with a grin. “Now I get to have some quiet Target time.”

“You seem to be here a lot.”

“You’re one to talk.” A blush came on Steve’s face. “But I am. Every Friday, I get my coffee—“ He raised up the cup “—and get a little bit of retail therapy in.”

“I’m pretty forgetful,” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck. “So I’m here a lot grabbing things I was supposed to get earlier.”

“Happens to the best of us. Something about Target, man.”

Steve smiled. “Becca hasn’t stopped talking about you,” Bucky continued. “Says you look like a superhero.” Steve’s face darkened, and Bucky hastily added, “But she also thinks I was a professional basketball player, so I wouldn’t take it too seriously.”

“It’s fine. I mean, she’s not the only one.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed. Steve, still blushing, said, “I’m Steve Rogers.”

“As in... _that_ Steve Rogers?”

Steve nodded.

Oh. 

_Oh._

Bucky wanted to smack himself for not realizing on his own. He was, after all, an adult in the 21st century, and a graduate of APUSH at that, he should’ve been able to recognize Captain America when he saw him. For god’s sake, that face had been on half the recruitment posters in the army. Now it seemed painfully obvious: the broad shoulders, crazy pecs, defined thighs. God, he was such an idiot.

He realized he was staring when Steve’s face turned carefully neutral and he stepped away, saying, “I should get back to it.”

“No!” Bucky flushed. “I mean...Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“I figured.”

“Sorry.” He let out an awkward chuckle. “I should’ve recognized a fellow military man.”

An odd look came over Steve’s face. “You served?”

“Army. Special Forces. Got an honorable discharge—“ Bucky lifted his left shoulder “—and now I’m living the single parent life. Nothing compared to what you did.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Steve said immediately. “I just had some great guys watching my back.” 

Bucky wasn’t sure what to say. Here was a national icon standing in front of him, and all he could think of was how great he was with Becca and the fact that his pecs could crack a walnut between them. America was always telling him to “shoot his shot.” Maybe this was what she’d meant.

“And does Steve Rogers have a phone number?”

A deep red blush come over Steve’s face, and Bucky cut off the train of thought that erupted at the sight of that. Steve dug around in his pocket and pulled out a phone. Bucky noted with amusement that it was a newer model than his own.

“Um...I don’t, not really. Security reasons, you know, it’s all, um, encrypted. But I have an Instagram? A personal one.”

Bucky grinned. “Sounds good. My username is ‘buckbuck.’” 

“Nice.”

“I lost a bet with my sister, alright? Fair warning, most of it is me doing grandma things.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Grandma things?”

“Yeah, you know, crocheting, watching NASA’s TV channel, baking, drinking tea."

“You crochet?”

“Slowly,” Bucky admitted, “but I can do it. Knitting was a lot harder, that wasn’t worth it. But I’m pretty good with a crochet hook. I made a blanket for Becca last year.”

Steve smiled. “Well, I don’t have the skill to knit or crochet, but I can make clothes. Not very good-looking ones, but…” He shrugged and the corners of his eyes grew tight. “Desperate times.”

“Well then,” Bucky said, “that settles it. For Chanukah I want the brightest-patterned, ugliest shirt you can possibly make.”

“Then I should get going. I’m sure I can find a beach towel somewhere in this place.”

Bucky laughed, which made Steve grin, and a faint blush come onto his cheeks. Damn, did Bucky like that blush. 

“I guess I did say ugliest. I’ll leave you to it. Bye, Steve.”

Steve smirked. “Bye, Buck-Buck.” Then he turned and walked away. Bucky could tell he was still smiling in triumph.

Steve Rogers was kind of a little shit.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

A few hours later, Bucky got a friend request from “stevefrombrooklyn.” Immediately accepting and reciprocating, it took about thirty seconds for Steve to do the same. Bucky, while keeping an ear out for Becca, since she’d gone to sleep suspiciously easily, scrolled through the pictures. The profile pic was just a generic sky, and the rest of the photos followed that theme. General items. No pictures of him, no pictures of the other Avengers. There were a couple of a black cat and golden lab that seemed to be buddies (Lucky and Liho, the caption said), a few pretty pictures of the skyline, one of those cheesy quotes with a fancy font. Bucky grinned. Steve was also kind of a basic bitch.

 ** _stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Hey, Buck-Buck_

 ** _buckbuck_ ** _: haha_

 ** _buckbuck_ ** _: stp_

 ** _stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Aw, why?_

 ** _buckbuck_ ** _: tld u i lst a bet_

 ** _buckbuck_ ** _: blme my sis_

 ** _stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: If I ever meet her, I’ll be sure to say thank you. She’s brought so much joy to my life._

**_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Where did Bucky come from, anyway?_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: mddle name buchanan_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: did u kno him???_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Not THAT old, pal._

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: coulda fooled me_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: You know, I think you’re the meanest person I’ve ever met at a Target._

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: u mean only prsn_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: That’s true, but it still hurts._

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: r u gonna sic the avengers on me??_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Nah, you’re too cute._

Bucky’s eyes widened. Okay. So. Captain America was definitely flirting with him. Was he even gay? Bi, maybe? Bucky was pretty sure he’d have seen something about that in the news. So now he’s flirting with a _closeted_ national icon. Okay. Okay. _Okay._

Before Bucky could respond, he heard a voice calling down the stairs, and was glad to throw down his phone and run up to deal with Becca. Twenty-three minutes and a desperate search for a stuffed animal (that she’s never specifically wanted until this exact night) later, he finally got her back into bed and made it back downstairs. His phone had three new messages on it.

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Was that not okay?_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable._

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: We don’t have to talk anymore. I’m sorry again_. 

Bucky cursed under his breath and unlocked his phone to tap out a message.

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: srry had a becca situation_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: it was v ok_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Oh, okay. Is Becca alright?_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: y. lost stuffed bear. its bn retrieved_

Bucky bit his lip in thought before typing out, _‘can u call? hard 2 type w 1 hand’_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: I can’t give out my phone number. Policy._

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: whatsapp is scure. can cll there_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: I’m not sure_.

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Anyway, I have to go to sleep now._

Bucky glanced at the clock on his phone. It was 9:15.

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Goodnight, Bucky. :)_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: gn steve_

After a moment’s hesitation, he added a smiley face. 

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

When Bucky had decided to adopt Becca, it had been kind of by accident. He had been back for three years when Original Becca called him up and told him about this baby in the NICU that she’d helped deliver. The mom was dead, the father couldn’t be found, and this poor kid was stuck just lying there, with no one to hold her.

Bucky, although he didn’t trust himself anywhere near an infant, went. That first time he stood outside, looking at her through the window. She was so small, just three pounds, lying there in a baby incubator with all sorts of tubes sticking out of her. Becca was on shift. He watched her go from baby to baby, chart to chart, but his eyes were always drawn back to the tiny girl in front of him. 

Four months later, he took her home. 

He soundproofed his room, so his nightmares couldn’t wake her up. He bought toys and mats and swings and what the salesgirl had called a “baby Keurig” to make her bottles. He read books and blogs and articles on taking care of a baby and moved out of his studio to a small brownstone further out of town. He ignored his fears of driving and bought a car he could barely afford, because it had the best safety ratings, and that was the car he brought Becca: The Sequel home in. That first month, he would stay up for hours just watching her sleep and making sure she was breathing. 

Sometimes, he still felt as panicked as he had then.

Becca was standing in front of him with her new school uniform on, hair pulled into curly pigtails, huge smile on her face. The purple backpack she’d picked out was comically large on her back and her shoes squeaked on the floor. It seemed to hit him all at once. In a month, she’d be starting kindergarten.

 _Fuck_.

Swallowing his tears, he beamed and pulled out his phone to take pictures. “Daddy,” Becca complained.

“We need some pictures to show Aunt B. Now smile, or I’ll start singing.”

The smile was back in an instant.

When he posted the picture to his Instagram for the family to see, the first to like it was _stevefrombrooklyn._

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“Who’s the guy?” 

Bucky looked up from washing dishes. OG Becca had her gaze fixed on him. “What guy?”

“The guy who was texting you during dinner.”

Bucky flushed and turned back to the dishes. “There’s no guy.”

“Really? Then who’s ‘Steve from Brooklyn?’”

Bucky froze. “How the hell do you know that?”

“I work for the CIA. I’ve been undercover for the past sixteen years. Watching. Waiting. Also, he’s liked every single one of your posts, even the stupid NASA ones.”

“My NASA posts aren’t stupid,” Bucky argued. “They took a picture of a freaking black hole!”

Becca feigned snoring. “Whatever. Point is, random people don’t like every one of your posts. _I_ haven’t liked every one of your posts. I mean, seriously dude, you don’t need to post that many crocheting progress pics.”

“You try crocheting with one hand, let’s see how much you celebrate completing two rows.”

 _“My point is_ , he’s not just a guy. He’s a _guy_.”

“Becca. I have Becca. There’s not going to be a guy.”

“Bucky. Stop using BJ as an excuse for your terrible sex life.”

Bucky dropped the dish he was holding. “Okay two things. One.” He held up a sudsy finger. “She’s not Becca Junior, her name is not BJ. Two, we are _not_ going to talk about my sex life.”

“Only because there’s nothing to talk about. Also, I’m Becca Barnes, and now there’s another Becca Barnes named after me. That qualifies as a BJ.”

“It sounds like she’s a sandwich.”

“A _cute_ sandwich.”

“Just call her Becca, and we’ll start calling you ‘that nosy asshole.’”

Becca gasped and hit him with a dish rag. “James Buchanan Barnes, you have a _child!”_

“Rebecca Eleanor Barnes, butt out!”

Becca turned to lean back against the counter. “Seriously, Bucky. You haven’t dated anyone in...how long?”

“I’m perfectly happy,” Bucky snapped.

“But you could be happ _ier_.”

“Look, Becca, dating this guy is not an option.” 

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

Becca frowned. “What’s wrong with him? Does he hate kids or something?”

“There’s nothing wrong with him.” Bucky sighed. “He’s actually really great.”

“Straight?”

Bucky nodded. “Among other things.”

Becca turned back to the dishes, grabbing a rag and beginning to towel off a plate. “That sucks, Bucky,” she said after a few moments. Bucky just shrugged. Becca stayed quiet until they finished all the dishes. “Are you _sure_ he’s straight?"

“Pretty sure,” Bucky said quietly. “And it’s like I told you. There are other things too.”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

**_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Hey, Bucky. How’s your weekend going?_

**_buckbuck_ ** _: fine_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: we dont hv 2 do this_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: What do you mean?_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: u dont hv 2 keep txting me_

 **_buckbuck_ ** _: this isnt going 2 happen & thats fine _

**_buckbuck_** _:_ _u dont need 2 keep tlking 2 me_

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: What do you mean, ‘this isn’t going to happen?’_

Bucky couldn’t think of anything to say, so he didn’t respond.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

That next Saturday he went out with America to get drinks. America was fresh out of a Stark internship, and Bucky was so glad she had ended up in the same VA group session as him because she was fucking hilarious and had quickly become one of his best friends. 

“—entonces yo hablé, ‘Mira, no puedes arrancar los dientes de Santiago.’”

“¿Y? ¿Ella lo hizo?”

“No, gracias a Dios.” America sighed. “I need a drink.”

“You’re the one that signed up to run the summer robotics camp.”

“A decision I regret every day. Those _bobos_.” America took a swig of her beer. “How’s Becca with her Spanish?”

“Pretty good. I try to switch up as much as I can.”

“Good. A Latina girl needs to know Spanish.”

“So you’ve said. I’m just hoping to hold off the curse words as long as possible." 

America gave a devilish grin. “Good, because I want to be the one to teach her those. Anyway, _Buckito_ , my friend is available again.”

“No,” Bucky said emphatically. “I am not letting you set me up.”

“Someone has to get you a date.”

“I can get dates for myself. I just don’t _want_ to.”

“And I can jump to alternate universes. I just don’t want to.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Look chico, you’re a hot nerd. That can get you pretty far in the dating game.”

Bucky opened his mouth to argue when his phone chirped. He immediately opened it, worried it was about Becca, but instead saw a new Instagram message.

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: I really am sorry, Bucky. I really hope we can be friends._

“What’s with _el rostro_ ? Oh!” America grinned. “I see. There’s _already_ a guy.”

“There’s no guy.” 

“Mm hmm. What’s his name?”

“There’s no guy!”

“Buckito, you know I’m lieproof.” America took another victorious drink. “Name?”

Bucky considered his options. He could hold out and not give America anything. That would save him some teasing and any conversations about his feelings. He could just delete the messages and move on with his life. But Bucky also wanted to talk about this to _someone_. Besides, his ma always did call him a glutton for punishment.

“Steve,” he said quietly.

“Aw, what a perfect little white boy name.”

“Steve Rogers.”

America’s eyebrows quirked, then raised as she realized what he was saying. “Oh. Fuck, _mierda.”_

“Yeah.”

“Where the hell did you meet Captain America?”

“Target.”

America covered her face with her hands. “Of course you did.” 

Bucky sighed and traced the rim of his beer with one finger. “I don’t know what to do,” he confessed. “I didn’t realize when I first met him, and he was so sweet and good with Becca, and _hot_. And then I realized and now….Now I’m confused. He’s either straight or really freaking deep in the closet. He’s a public icon, for fuck’s sake. I can’t even get his number for security reasons. It’s not even worth trying.”

“You’re right. Heart of gold _and_ thighs that could snap your head off?” America gave a deep mock sigh. “Whatever shall you do?”

“This isn’t a joke,” Bucky said, annoyance flaring up. “I have Becca to think about. Remember when Brock broke up with me?”

“Brock,” snapped America, “was a _cabrón_ that didn’t deserve you.”

“Becca was devastated. I won’t put her through something like that again.”

“So, what? You’re going to wait another fourteen years for a date?” She leaned across the table and grabbed his shoulder in a powerful grip. “Stop using Becca as an excuse. If you like him, go for it. You’ll figure it out. I think you’re just too afraid.”

Bucky stood up, almost knocking over his beer in the process. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, America. You’re just a kid.” America’s nostrils flared and Bucky stormed off before she could say anything, crashing through the door into the cool night air that felt too hot on his face. He started walking, and by the time he’d begun to calm down he was pretty well lost. He flagged down a cab on the street.

America didn’t have any right to call him afraid. He was just trying to look out for Becca. He couldn’t be bringing men in and out of her life all the time.

_But Becca likes Steve._

Shaking his head, as if it would clear out his thoughts, Bucky got into the cab. 

“Where to?”

He looked at his phone. He had over an hour until Kate expected him to be home. Still flushed with anger, he said without thinking, “Avengers Headquarters.”

The cab dropped him off outside of the security entrance for the Avengers HQ. It dawned on him then that he was being a complete idiot. Embarrassed, he almost turned to leave, but the security guard spotted him and said, “No civilians.”

Bucky froze and turned around. “Um...uh, I’m here to see Steve Rogers?”

The guard looked at him skeptically. “Name?”

“James Barnes.” Bucky fumbled around in his pocket to pull out his ID. 

The security guard grabbed the ID and a headset and said, “Patch me through to Cap. Hey, Cap, we’ve got a guy out here who says he knows you? James Buchanan Barnes? Really? Alright, sending him through.”

The guard pulled off the headset and handed Bucky his ID back, along with a visitor’s badge. “Keep this on at all times,” he said like he was reciting from a handbook, “go into the first set of doors and turn left to get to the elevators. They’ll take you where you need to go. Don’t enter any other buildings and don’t go snooping. We’ll know.” 

Bucky, in something of a daze, took the badge and stumbled forward into the towering building. He passed through the empty lobby and found the elevators. To his surprise, however, there were no buttons. He was about to get out and ask the security guard if he was in the right building when the doors shut and the elevator shot up into the sky. Bucky grabbed the handrail and closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at the glass floor and windows. _No, heights, no._

Someone cleared their throat. Opening his eyes, Bucky found himself in the middle of a living room, Steve standing in front of him. He was wearing sweatpants and another tight t-shirt, carding his hands through his still-damp hair. Great, Bucky had interrupted Captain America in the middle of his shower. (And it really sucked that he couldn't take full advantage of this situation.)

“Hey,” he said slowly, stepping out of the elevator. The doors shut menacingly behind him. 

“Hey,” Steve said with a soft smile.

They stared at each other.

“This was a mistake,” Bucky said, backing up. He turned and was surprised to find the elevator wasn’t there anymore. “Um.” He turned back to Steve. “Sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

“You’re not bothering me. It’s good to see you.” 

Bucky’s mouth was hanging open, he realized, and he closed it. Steve was watching him with an almost wistful look on his face. He wasn’t angry. He hadn’t let Bucky up just to tell him off face-to-face. He looked happy to see him. “Although it was a bit of a surprise,” Steve conceded. 

Bucky squared his shoulders and took a deep, steadying breath. “Look,” he said quietly, “I asked for your number because I thought you were hot and sweet and I wanted to ask you on a date.”

To his surprise, Steve used his pause to say, “I know.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and snapped to Steve’s. “You do?” 

“Of course I do. Why do you think I gave you my personal Instagram account?”

“I thought you were straight,” Bucky mumbled with a blush.

Steve’s stance grew stiff, and for the first time he looked away from Bucky. “I’m bi. I just...it’s this whole thing. I wish it wasn’t, but it is. I need to bite the bullet soon, I know, but….” Steve shrugged, shoulders tense. “Anyway.”

“This can’t happen.”

“So you said,” Steve said quietly.

“You’re not out,” Bucky began, his voice growing panicky. “I have a kid. You’re a national freaking icon. I have all sorts of issues—“

“I have issues too, Bucky,” Steve interrupted. “This doesn’t have to be anything. But I want it to be.” He chewed on his lip. “One date. Becca won’t know, the press won’t know, it won’t be a big deal. We’ll just test it out.”

“I…” Bucky’s shoulders sagged. “I haven’t dated anyone in a long time.”

“Look who you’re talking to.”

Bucky let out a startled laugh. 

Steve smirked at him. “If you want to try,” he continued, “I’ll be right here. If things go further, I’ll come out. I’ll become a hermit. All of that is just...circumstances. And circumstances can be changed.”

“Becca’s not a circumstance.”

“No. I know you need to put her first. I’m glad you’re so passionate about putting her first. I’m just saying that me and Becca, we might not be mutually exclusive.”

Steve stepped forward to close the space between them, and his fingers brushed against Bucky’s, sending a shiver down Bucky’s spine. “Let’s try,” he said earnestly. “Let’s stop playing with what-ifs and just give it a try.”

Bucky took a deep breath. “I...okay. Um, tomorrow night. If you aren’t busy. We’ll meet at a bar; Georgie’s, on 42nd. They know me there, they’ll make sure we aren’t interrupted.”

Steve’s face split into a huge smile, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile back. “I should go,” he said softly. “Relieve the babysitter.” As if on cue, he heard a _woosh_ as the elevator appeared behind him.

Feeling impulsive and giddy, he reached up to kiss Steve’s cheek. Steve instantly blushed and Bucky nearly ran to the elevator. Once inside, he allowed himself to grin and do a little dance. The last ten minutes felt a little too good to be true.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“Ready for your date, Mr. Barnes?” Kate asked when he came downstairs. He smiled and shook his head. 

“I’ve told you a thousand times, it’s Bucky. And as a matter of fact, yes.” He nervously tugged at his button-down. “I don’t look completely hopeless, right?”

“Eh.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and reached down to pick up Becca and hug her. “I’ll be back when you wake up, sweet pea.”

“Daddy,” she murmured, already sleepy, “are you leaving?”

“Yep. You’re going to have a bunch of fun with Miss Kate and then you’ll go to sleep and as soon as you open your eyes, I’ll be here.”

Becca smiled. “When I open my eyes?”

“When you open your eyes,” Bucky promised. He kissed her cheek and set her back on the floor again, a little pang going through his heart as he let go of her. He swallowed it and turned to Kate. “I should be back around ten.”

“Come now, Mr. Barnes, let’s be a little optimistic about this date. Eleven.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Fine, eleven. But don’t think I don’t know you’re just trying to get more money out of me.” 

“Too late to do anything about it now!” Kate said cheerfully. “Becca, say bye to daddy!”

“Bye, Daddy!”

“Bye, Becca.” Bucky kissed the top of her head. “Te quiero.”

“Te quiero, Daddy.”

Bucky grabbed his wallet and walked out. Realizing he was probably going to be drinking, he called an Uber, and in another five minutes was on his way to the bar. Ironically, it was only as he actually walked into the bar that he grew really nervous. His stomach was twisting in knots and he was about to come up with an excuse and run away when he saw Steve waving at him from a booth in the back. His eyes were bright with his smile and he was wearing a blue shirt that made Bucky’s mouth go dry. Bolstered by the welcome, he squared his shoulders and made his way to the back of the bar, sliding into the booth and glancing around to make sure he hadn’t drawn any attention. Steve was smiling at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Steve slid a bottle over to him. “I took the liberty of getting you a beer.” Bucky offered up a quick smile before sliding into the booth and uncapping the bottle of beer. Feeling self-conscious, he took a long drink.

“I didn’t know exactly what you like,” Steve was saying, chewing on his lip. “I can get you another—“

“No, this is great, thanks.”

They drank their beers.

“So...do you have any hobbies? Aside from shopping at Target?”

“Not really. I read a lot. But between work and Becca, there usually isn’t a lot of time.”

“Right.”

Bucky drained his beer and stood up. “I’m gonna go grab another.”

He made his escape.

“You’ve got a cutie over there,” Carol said as he walked up to the bar and set down his empty bottle. At the flush on Bucky’s face, she gave a sharp grin. “Gonna tell me the story?”

“Nope. Another beer, please.” Carol picked one up and Bucky went to grab the beer, but Carol moved it out of his reach. “Hey! Look, we met, we’re on a date, don’t make a big deal of it.”

“I haven’t seen you on a date in two years.”

“Carol, seriously, I’m already freaked out.”

Carol eyed him seriously. She ducked down behind the bar and emerged with a platter of mozzarella sticks.

“Where the hell did those come from?”

“I get snacky when I’m bartending,” Carol said with a shrug. “Just take them. Food makes everything less awkward.”

Bucky scowled but took the food and his beer and made his way back to the booth. Steve had been picking at the skin on his wrist, but when he saw Bucky his back went ramrod straight and he put on a small smile. 

“Carol gave us these,” Bucky explained as he put down the mozzarella sticks. Steve stared at them, unsure, and Bucky’s mouth dropped open. “You...you have had mozzarella sticks before, right?”

“Uh, no?”

“Holy crap.”

“They were m—”

Bucky cut him off by grabbing a mozzarella stick and smashing it in the general direction of Steve’s mouth. He instantly flushed, realizing he had just stuffed food into Captain America’s face, but was able to breathe when he saw Steve’s eyes bug out.

 _“_ Oh my _god."_

“I _know!_ Who was responsible for catching you up on 21st century stuff? Because I need to send them a strongly-worded letter.” 

Steve laughed, and went to grab another. “We definitely didn’t have food this good back then. Especially not in the army.”

“That part hasn’t changed, pal,” Bucky said with a wry smile. “I cried the first time I had a real meal after eating MRE’s for so long.”

“Can’t be any worse than the stuff we had. Dugan used to say he’d rather eat his own hand.” Steve’s eyes grew sad, and Bucky chewed on his bottom lip. He was trying to figure out what to say when Steve shook his head, straightened up again, and smiled. “Anyway. Did you meet Becca’s mom in the army?”

“Oh, no. My sister, Becca, worked in a NICU a few years ago and helped deliver her. They didn’t know who her dad was, and the mom died. Becca introduced us, and that was that.”

Steve smiled softly. “She’s beautiful.”

“Yeah," Bucky said, unable to keep the proud smile off his face. "We know the mom was Puerto Rican, so I’m trying to raise her bilingual. My friend America helps out with that.”

“Does your sister still work with infants?”

“Not anymore. She went back to school to become a pediatric oncologist.” At the blank look on Steve’s face, Bucky added, “She treats kids with cancer.”

“Oh. Wow. That must be a hard job.”

“It is. But she’s amazing at it. And I basically have a free doctor to go to whenever Becca gets a cold.”

“I’m assuming Becca was named after your sister?”

“Oh, yeah. We call her Becca: The Remix.”

Steve laughed. “Nice.” He looked down at his beer. “Do you want more kids?” 

“Eventually. I have another sister, Mary, who has six kids.” At the look on Steve’s face, he laughed. “Yeah, it’s chaos. All girls too. Sister Becca says Remix Becca is more blood-related to them than I am, since I’m the only boy in three generations. Anyway, it’s always nice when we go to visit them. Becca’s a really outgoing kid, it’s nice for her to have a playmate, and there’s always something to do. What about you? Cause Becca and me are a package deal, so if you don't want kids, now's the time to tell me that.”

Steve thought for a moment before he answered. “I used to. Back…” He waved his hand. “These past few years, I thought that chapter had closed.”

“And now?”

Steve smiled. “Now I think it’s just a matter of finding the right partner.”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky made it back to his house at 11:30. Disembarking from Steve’s motorcycle (and boy, was _that_ an experience) he went up the steps of his brownstone, running one nervous hand through his hair. Steve stepped up beside him. 

“So.”

“So.”

Steve smiled. “I had fun.”

“Yeah.” Bucky grinned in spite of himself. “Yeah, I had fun too.”

Steve stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and Bucky’s breath hitched. He hesitantly reached forward to touch Bucky’s arm. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said breathlessly, and Steve bent down.

Their lips met, and immediately Bucky realized what he had been missing all those years of no dates. Steve’s mouth was plush and soft, and when Bucky’s tongue pressed at the seam of his lips, he let out a little gasp. Bucky’s hand went to the back of Steve’s neck as they kissed, sweet and slow. Like they had all the time in the world.

When Steve finally pulled away, Bucky very nearly followed him. He hung his head, pressing his forehead against Bucky’s, and said very quietly, “Shit.”

“I’d invite you in, but Kate and Becca…”

“Right. Yes.” Steve let go of Bucky and adjusted his shirt and, Bucky noticed with interest, his pants. “Okay. I should go.” Steve looked back at him, and with a noise of frustration leaned forward again. Bucky eagerly kissed him and whined when Steve pulled away again.

“I need to go,” Steve repeated. His eyes were wide, lips swollen and wet. Bucky was rather satisfied with himself. Steve cupped Bucky’s jaw. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, and leaned down again to kiss Bucky’s cheek. “Argh, I have to go!”

Bucky laughed. “I’m not stopping you, pal.”

“Okay.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, grinning, and stepped back. “Alright. I’ll text you.”

“You’d better.”

Unable to keep from smiling, Bucky watched as Steve mounted his bike and gave him one last longing, happy look before putting on his helmet and pulling away from the curb. Sighing, Bucky unlocked the door and went inside. 

“Well, well, well,” Kate said with a smirk when she saw him. “I guess we were right to be optimistic.”

“Hell yeah we were.” 

Kate high-fived him.


	2. Autumn

[ ](https://images2.imgbox.com/90/bb/5TLcgqWp_o.jpg)

*********************

They went out on four more dates before Steve came into Bucky’s house.

Bucky went inside alone, paid Kate, went outside to make sure she got to her car okay, and when she turned the corner he retrieved Steve from where he was hiding in the bushes. 

“I feel like I’m a fucking teenager, sneaking around like this,” Bucky said as he shut the door and began kissing Steve. Steve smiled against his lips, and wrapped an arm around him so his hand was square between Bucky’s shoulder blades. Bucky gave a yelp of surprise as Steve lifted him off the floor and pinned him against the wall. Immediately wrapping his legs around Steve, his hand went to his neck, and Steve groaned as Bucky pulled away to kiss a trail to Steve’s ear.

“God, Buck,” he sighed, “you drive me crazy.”

“Couch,” Bucky breathed. 

Steve obediently pulled away from the wall and stumbled towards the couch, falling down on it rather ungracefully. Twisting around, Bucky positioned his knees so he was straddling Steve and leaned down to suck at his neck. Steve swore.

“Jesus, god, fuck...let’s...let’s not go farther than this, alright? Tonight?”

Bucky paused and pulled away. “Do you want me to stop?”

“God, no.” To accentuate his point, Steve pulled Bucky back in for a searing kiss. “I just...want to do this for real when I can last longer than 30 seconds.”

Bucky grinned and got back to work.

“I feel like we should talk,” Steve said a little while later, as Bucky was testing how long he could get a hickey to stay visible on Steve's collarbone. 

“Right now?”

“I really like you,” Steve said. He moved to kiss Bucky’s jaw. “You’re so kind and smart and _hot_ , and I want this to go somewhere.”

Bucky went still. “Oh.”

Steve pulled away with a frown. “Sorry. Maybe I should’ve waited.”

“No, it’s okay.” Bucky got off of Steve’s lap and collapsed on the couch next to him. “It’s just...all that stuff we were talking about before, it’s still there. You’re still in the closet. You’re still Captain America.”

“I’ll stop.”

“Steve,” Bucky said, exasperated, “we just met a month ago. I don’t want you to do that for me.”

Steve paused, deep in thought. “I couldn’t quit,” he said quietly. “Not yet. I might want to, but... I have to finish what I started here.” He looked up at Bucky. “But we agreed to try this. And from where I’m standing, I think it’s pretty fucking great.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed faintly.

“So whatever I have to do for you to feel comfortable dating me, I’ll do it. No,” he said firmly, cutting off Bucky’s reply, “I mean it. I will. This…” He pressed a soft kiss to Bucky’s jaw. “This feels worth it.”

“You’re making it really hard to say no,” Bucky managed out.

“So say yes.”

“I...okay. But we don’t go public yet, and I want to wait before introducing you to Becca.”

“Daddy?” came a sleepy voice from the stairs. “Who’s that?”

Steve looked at Bucky. “Might be a little late for that.”

Bucky leapt up in a panic and ran over to the stairs. “What are you doing up, Becca?” he asked, a little louder than he’d intended. Tears started welling up in Becca’s eyes.

“I had a nightmare,” she whimpered. “And I went to your room like you told me to but you weren’t there and I got scared.”

Bucky picked her up as she began crying in earnest. It was moments like these that he really, really wanted two arms. He wanted to rub her back, stroke her hair, protect her.

“I’m sorry, sweet pea,” he said softly, holding her closer. “I’m sorry, I stayed up past my bedtime. Do you want to talk about it?”

Becca shook her head furiously. Sniffling, she turned her head towards Steve and tightened her arms around Bucky. “Who’s that?”

“Oh.” Bucky thought for a moment before answering. “This is Steve. Remember, we met him at the store a few weeks ago. He’s the one that thought Thor was the best Avenger.”

“Back Widow,” Becca mumbled.

“Right, you told him he was wrong and he knows better now.” Steve was smiling slightly. Bucky gestured for him to come over. He ended up in a half-crouch, running his hand through his hair, which Bucky had come to identify as a nervous tic.

“Hi, Becca,” he said softly. “I’m Steve. I’m sorry I kept your daddy out of bed.”

Bucky’s face turned red, but he kept his voice controlled as he said, “Steve is my friend. We were having some friend time—like when you go play with Maddie, remember?”

“A play date?”

“Yeah, like a play date.” Becca sniffed and yawned. Bucky rested his chin on her head. “Here, what can I do to help you not be scared anymore? Do you want some milk?”

Becca shook her head. 

“Do you want to read a book?”

She shook her head again. “I want to sleep in your bed with you, Daddy.”

“Becca, you know you can’t sleep with me. How about I sleep on your floor tonight, and tomorrow morning we can go get pancakes at the diner?”

“Chocolate chip?”

“With powdered sugar.” Becca grinned and nodded. “Alright. You go upstairs and get comfy, and I’ll be there in one minute.”

He put her down and she ran up the stairs, feet pattering on the wood. Bucky waited until heard her door open and shut, then turned toward Steve with a sigh. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “This is not what I had planned for tonight.”

To his surprise, Steve closed the gap in one stride and kissed Bucky deeply, his fingers in Bucky’s hair. “Don’t apologize,” he murmured while Bucky tried to catch his breath. He kissed him again, gentler this time. “You’re such an amazing dad.”

“Can’t say I feel much like it.”

“You are. And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

Bucky smiled in spite of himself. “You could, um…I mean, since she knows about you now, you could come to breakfast with us tomorrow, maybe. The diner on 5th. We’ll probably be there around 8.”

“I’ll be there,” Steve said with a broad smile. He kissed Bucky’s cheek. “Good night, Buck.”

“Good night, Stevie.”

Bucky watched him leave before going upstairs to his daughter.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

He woke up with a crick in his neck, a sore back, and a foggy head from the sleeping pills he’d downed after Steve left in an attempt to ward off nightmares (which seemed to have been successful). Becca was talking to him.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy! We need to go get pancakes!”

Stifling a groan, Bucky sat up and checked his watch. It was 5:30. “It’s a little too early, sweet pea. They won’t be open yet.”

“Aw.”

“How about this? I’m going to go back to sleep, and until we can go you can practice your reading? How about _El árbol generoso?”_

“Okay,” Becca said happily. “Te quiero, Daddy.”

“Te quiero, sweet pea.”

Becca ran off, and Bucky slowly got up from the floor, every bone in his body creaking as he did. He was getting too old for this. He made his way to his room and had just fallen into bed when he heard his phone chirp.

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: Sorry again._

Frowning, Bucky unlocked his phone and scrolled through the rest of the messages.

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: I have a work situation developing. Hopefully it’ll hold off until after breakfast._

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: It did not. :( I have to go._

 **_stevefrombrooklyn_ ** _: I’m so sorry, I was really looking forward to spending more time with you and Becca. Should be back in a few days._

Bucky’s mind started racing. He knew Steve was Captain America, obviously; he talked about training sometimes, and would complain about some of the others occasionally. But until now it hadn’t really stuck with him that being Captain America meant more than constantly being in the spotlight. Steve could be called away at any time to the most life-threatening situations possible. He’d get hurt. He’d miss dates and parties and what-have-yous with a few minutes notice, and he might not come back. Bucky’s stomach was twisting in knots. How could they possibly maintain a relationship like this? Chewing on his lip, he tapped out a message.

 ** _buckbuck_** _:_ _stay safe_

Bucky turned over on his side and flopped onto his pillow. That lasted all of thirty seconds before he groaned and sat up, pulling out his computer. Slowly and painstakingly, he typed out, _‘being in relationship with person with dangerous job.’_

Bucky clicked and read for an hour and a half before Becca couldn’t be held off any longer and he had to stop researching to go get breakfast. Funnily enough, there wasn’t any article called, “I’m A Veteran With One Arm and PTSD and a Kid and I Want to Know How to Date Captain America.” But from what he could find, the general consensus was this: it sucked. The closest he could get to Avenging was being in the military, and Bucky read through blog after blog written by army wives trying to find something that could apply to him. He ended up reading every article written by this one woman, who had two young kids.

Unlike a lot of the others, she already had kids when she reconnected with her now-husband. She wrote a lot about dealing with the fact that she was signing them up for that life too, even though they couldn’t make that decision. Bucky felt like she had seen into his soul. That was exactly it. Becca wouldn’t have a choice but to be thrown into all of this. Just because Bucky might have feelings for Steve, how could he put those before Becca’s feelings? This woman didn’t really have an answer for him. She had known her husband since childhood. They got married after four months of dating and that was that. Bucky didn’t really _know_ Steve. He didn’t know if it was worth throwing Becca into all that mess; into press and paparazzi and the constant fluctuation. Kids need stability. Entering a relationship with Steve, Bucky would be taking that away from Becca. 

They went to the diner, and while they waited for their food Bucky imagined Steve being there with them. He saw Steve helping Becca build a tower out of the little containers of jams, showing her how to blow the paper off her straw so it would hit Bucky in the face. Helping her cut up her pancakes. Singing along with Bucky to the 80s music the diner always played. A smile snuck onto Bucky’s face. That was what he wanted. Not Captain America, not The First Avenger; Steve Rogers, an adorable dork who somehow fit into his life like he’d been missing the whole time.

“Daddy!” He turned to look at Becca. “Look what I can do!” A huge grin on her face, she tipped her head back and balanced her straw on top of her nose for about half a second. 

“Woah!” Bucky swooped into kiss her cheek and start tickling her. “You look like you’re about to run off and join the circus!” Becca giggled, and Bucky listened to her laughter, and realized that even if things with Steve were never worked out, he’d still be okay. He’d still have her.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

The first time Bucky saw Steve after his mission was on TV. 

He had just put Becca to bed and had stumbled downstairs to get some ice cream and watch some trashy TV to decompress when the headline caught his eye. Steve was standing at a podium—the words scrolling on the bottom told him this footage was from an hour ago—and he was giving some sort of statement. He looked horrible. His hair was nearly brown with dirt. His face was covered in ash and he had this broken, devastated look in his eyes. Bucky noticed a burn on the side of his neck, vanishing under his suit. He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

The doorbell rang and he gave a very unflattering screech, jumping about two feet into the air. He took a moment to recover before he went over to the door. Steve was there. 

Bucky opened the door, ready to say hi, but the minute it opened Steve lurched forward and fell into Bucky’s arms. Bucky realized with a shock that he was crying. Unsure what to do, he led Steve far enough inside that he could close the door and began stroking his hair. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. 

“It was a school,” Steve sobbed out. “They targeted a fucking school.”

Bucky’s mouth went dry, but he didn’t say anything. When Steve’s tears had subsided enough for him to register anything Bucky said, he asked, “What can I do? Jesus, Steve, I—please, what can I do?”

Steve rubbed at his eyes harshly and stood up. “You don’t have to do anything, Buck. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Hey now,” Bucky said, blocking Steve as he began heading towards the door. “You’re not alright, Steve.”

“I shouldn’t be,” Steve spat out. “It’s all my fault. I saw...I fucking _saw_ them going for it but I thought—I thought it was empty.” His eyes, already red and puffy, watered again. “Clint sent them in there for cover.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said. It wasn’t enough, but he couldn’t think of anything else. 

Slowly but surely, he coaxed Steve upstairs and got him into his bed. A shower probably would be useful, but Bucky wasn’t about to attempt figuring that out while Steve was still like this. He gently laid Steve down and pulled up the blankets. Steve was asleep in seconds. Bucky, finally exhaling, pulled out his ma’s old quilt and settled down on the floor. He couldn’t sleep in the same bed with somebody else, even if that somebody was a supersoldier. He couldn’t risk having a nightmare and hurting them, and he’d really rather not have a foggy head from meds in the morning. 

It was a long, long time before Bucky fell asleep.

He was startled awake by someone making strangled whining noises and his first thought was Becca. He leapt up, heart racing, and looked around. Oh. Steve. Right. Steve was curled into a ball and was shaking, making these little pained noises that broke Bucky’s heart. When Bucky had a nightmare, he lashed out. Steve seemed to collapse in on himself. 

“Steve?” he said softly, still trying to adjust to the darkness. He sat down on the bed and put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Steve. It’s just a nightmare. You’re okay.” Steve was still trembling and he gave another hoarse cry. Bucky became a little more desperate. “Steve!” 

Steve jerked awake and Bucky caught his shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered. “It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re okay.”

Steve’s eyes were wide and panicked. “...Bucky?”

“Yeah pal, it’s me. Breathe for me. Like this.” Bucky took Steve’s hand and pressed it to his chest as he took deep breaths. Steve imitated; at first it sounded like he couldn’t breathe at all, but eventually he began to calm down, and his breathing became slow and even again. 

“Bucky.” 

Bucky leaned back, dropping Steve’s hand. “Hey, Stevie.”

Steve looked around. “What….” He scrubbed at his face. “God, I’m so sorry, Buck—“

“Don’t do that. Don’t apologize.”

“I…” Steve cut himself off. He sighed, and wouldn’t meet Bucky’s eyes. 

“You okay?” he said cautiously. 

Steve nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. I...oh God, I didn’t wake Becca, right?”

“My room is soundproof. I get nightmares too, Steve.” Bucky gestured to the empty space in his t-shirt where his arm should be. “PTSD. It’s a bitch.”

“I never should’ve come here, I wasn’t thinking.” Steve laughed in a way that made Bucky’s blood run cold. “Guess I really messed up any chance at a relationship now, huh?”

“How do you figure?”

“Buck. Look at me. I’m a 90-year-old national icon and Avenger who can’t even Avenge without having a breakdown.”

Bucky turned on the lamp and sat down beside Steve on the bed. “What you are is human. You saw something horrible and you reacted the way any person would.”

“But I’m not _any person_ , Buck. I’m supposed to be better than that.”

“The world doesn’t rest on your shoulders, Steve.”

Steve’s face was fixed in a righteous determination. “If you have the ability to help people, you should.”

“Yes,” acknowledged Bucky, “but you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.” Steve scoffed, which made Bucky smile. “Yeah, I thought it was a load of crap when I first got back. But then I got Becca. And I realized that she depended on me for everything. And I mean everything. If I spent all my time thinking about what I did wrong, she wouldn’t eat. I had to make sure I was healthy so I could keep _her_ healthy.” Bucky picked up the baby monitor on the nightstand. “I can’t let her down. Maybe you need something like that.”

“A kid?”

“Something that needs you too.”

Bucky turned his head to look at Steve. Steve’s expression was unreadable. Slowly, he began moving forward.

“Woah, hold on,” Bucky said, hand flying up to keep Steve from kissing him. Steve jerked back.

“Sorry. God, Buck, I’m sorry—“

“Don’t apologize, Steve. You just aren’t in a good place right now. I don’t want to take advantage.” Bucky smiled softly and took Steve’s hand. “Maybe just cuddling for tonight?” 

“I...I should be going back to the Tower,” Steve said, though not very convinced. 

“They can do without Captain America for one night.” Bucky switched off the lamp and turned on his side so his body was enveloping Steve’s. He wrapped his arm around Steve’s chest and Steve’s breath shuddered as he pressed closer to Bucky. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and Bucky could tell he’d started crying again. “You didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I want _you_ , Steve,” Bucky murmured back, already falling asleep. “The good and the bad and the sucky. Every bit of it.”

Steve was quiet for a while. Just as Bucky was about to fall asleep, he said softly, “Do you ever wonder where you’d be if you made different choices?”

“Sometimes,” Bucky mumbled, sleepy. “But I like to focus on the choices I still get to make.”

Steve took a deep breath, and relaxed in Bucky’s arm. It occurred to Bucky that he shouldn’t be doing this. He could still have a nightmare. Steve could get hurt. But somehow, lying there with Steve’s warm body against his, he couldn’t find the energy to leave.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky woke up slowly to an empty bed. He frowned, disappointed. He’d really wanted to talk to Steve about everything that happened yesterday. For Bucky, it had been some of his worst fears confirmed. Dangerous missions, injuries, nightmares, trauma. All reasons he hadn’t wanted to date Steve. 

Yet here he was, the morning after, still in one piece. Still yearning for Steve as much as he had before.

He was pleasantly surprised to hear the shower turn off, and in a couple minutes Steve stepped out of his bathroom. His hair was damp and he had a slight, shy smile. “Figured I could live without all the dirt and blood."

Bucky got up and went to run his hand through Steve’s hair. It was so incredibly soft and he smelled like Bucky’s shampoo. “Eh, you’re still not so easy on the eyes.”

“Least I’m not as bad as you.” Bucky just smiled and Steve grew nervous, scratching the back of his neck. “I, uh...I’m really sorry about last night. I just came here without thinking. I should’ve been more considerate.”

“Steve, I don’t care about that,” Bucky said emphatically. “Seriously. It doesn’t matter as long as you’re okay.”

“Still. It’s not like we’re, uh…” Steve’s cheeks grew red. 

“Boyfriends?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you about that.” 

Steve’s eyes flew up to meet Bucky’s. “Really?”

“I still don’t know how it would work with Becca,” said Bucky, anxious, “or your job, or you being in the closet, or...well, or anything else, really, but...I think I want to start talking about it.”

Steve’s smile was like sunlight, stretching across his entire face. “I want that too.”

The beeping of Bucky’s alarm startled them both, and he rushed to turn it off. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I should be going back anyway, before Tony barges in here looking for me.” Steve scratched the back of his neck. “Thank you. For letting me stay here. And...for making me feel safe.”

Bucky felt his cheeks flush, and he ducked his head. “I, uh...Tomorrow I’m dropping Becca off with my ma, she’s taking her to the zoo. So, um, I’ll be free. Tomorrow. To talk.”

Steve smiled. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Bucky, lips pressing against his cheek. Bucky immediately hugged back. 

“There’s this coffee shop on Willow,” Steve was saying, although Bucky was somewhat distracted by the smell of his soap, “that has all these cats that roam around. We could go there.”

“That sounds perfect.”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky slipped into the cat cafe, _Gatos y Galletas_ , silently thanking whoever had introduced Steve to cat cafes as he did. Steve was sitting on a beanbag in the corner and his face split into a grin as he waved at Bucky.

“Steve,” Bucky said, “you have eleven cats on you.”

Steve glanced around like he was only just now realizing that fact. The orange tabby flicked it’s tail into Steve’s face. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” 

Bucky pulled up a beanbag and sat down next to him. A calico cat jumped from Steve’s lap to his, rubbing against his sweatshirt. Nervously, Bucky began to pet it.

“Not a cat person?” Steve asked.

“Not used to ‘em. Never had one before.”

“I used to take care of the stray cats in the alley by my house,” Steve said, stroking a gray cat that was perched on his shoulder. “Feed em, bring by some fresh water, stuff like that. I like them.”

The barista walked by with what was apparently Steve’s coffee order, and smiled. She gestured at the gray cat. “Buttons seems to like you.” She handed Steve his coffee. “Just so you know, all our cats are adoptable. Fully neutered, spayed, and vaccinated, and if you adopt through us the microchipping is free.”

“Thank you,” Steve said politely, “but I don’t think I’m going to get a cat anytime soon. I’m away a lot.”

“That’s the great thing about cats,” the barista said, impossibly perky. “As long as they have food and water, they’re all set! Weekend trips don’t bother them.”

Steve looked thoughtful, but he just smiled, and when Bucky had ordered his mocha the barista retreated. “Thinking about it?” Bucky asked. 

Steve shrugged. “You said that what helped you was having someone that relied on you. I’m not sure that would work for me, but...maybe having something that only needed me sometimes would.” He took a drink of his coffee, displacing a cat that had settled in the crook of his arm. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Right.” Bucky took a deep breath. “Look. We’d need to be careful about this. I don’t want any press following Becca around.”

“Neither do I, but I don’t think we can stop it completely. Not without locking her up. I can ask Pepper about that, she knows the PR stuff. She’ll be able to figure something out to minimize it as much as possible.”

“Are you okay with that?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow. “Her knowing you’re dating a guy, and a guy with a _kid_ at that?”

Steve nodded. “Absolutely. I told you, Buck, I don’t want to hide who I am. And as for Becca, I have to admit that she’s the Barnes I prefer.”

“Hey!” Bucky smacked Steve’s bicep, drawing a hiss from a one-eyed cat that had attached itself to Steve’s arm. Steve grinned and drank his coffee. Little shit. 

“It’s not just that, though,” Bucky continued. “It would mean you’d be coming out. Are you _sure_ you’re okay with that? We’re not talking about the other Avengers here, we’re talking about the _world._ The world that thinks you and Peggy Carter were the best thing since Romeo and Juliet.”

Steve’s smile dropped off his face. “I...did love Peggy, once,” he said slowly. “But that part of my life is over. I want to be with you. So if that means coming out, then…” He took a deep breath. “Then I’ll do it. I’d do it right now.”

“What about your job? That’s not something you can change.”

“Not right now, no. But people do it, Bucky. They make it work even with the danger.” Steve ran his hand through his hair. “This is me. I run into fights headfirst. If that’s something you can’t live with, then that’s okay, but it’s not going to change, even if I do stop working with the Avengers.”

“I don’t care about you running into fights, Steve. I care about you running back out of them.” Steve looked at him. “You know what I mean. I don’t want to live every day in fear that you won’t come back from your next mission.”

“I don’t get hurt like normal people, Bucky.”

“And the people you’re fighting don’t punch like normal people either, Steve.”

The barista from before gave them both odd looks as she set down Bucky’s mocha. “I just brought it to you, since you’re the only ones here...I think I’ll take my break now.” She practically ran away from them.

“Look, Bucky, everyone has that fear. You could be killed tomorrow just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Aliens could attack next week and wipe out all life on earth. Someone with a gun could march into Target. What’s important is that we don’t let fear make our decisions for us.” Steve reached over to grab Bucky’s hand, annoying several cats, and Bucky’s pulse quickened. “I really, really like you, Buck.”

Bucky cleared his throat before he spoke. “I...I really like you too Steve.” He focused on the cat that was curling around his legs. “Maybe we should start small. Tell your team about us. Think of it as practice for telling the world.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Okay.”

Steve smiled. “Then name the day.”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

The next Monday, while Becca was at school, Bucky found himself standing in front of the Avengers. His nerves had acted up and he was sweating through his shirt, he knew, and probably looked awful. Steve was standing beside him, holding Bucky’s (sweaty, gross) hand. Black Widow was giving him an evil eye. 

“Guys,” Steve said, “this is Bucky.”

Iron Man made a face. “I’m sorry. _Bucky?”_

“Short for Buchanan,” Bucky mumbled, drawing everyone’s attention to him. That was a bad idea. He shrank further in on himself, trying to ignore the fact that Hawkeye was looking down on him from a bookcase. 

“Anyway,” Steve said with a glare in Iron Man’s direction, “we’re dating.”

Silence. 

“I’m sorry, Cap,” Iron Man said. “It sounded like you said you were dating him.”

Steve’s grip on Bucky’s hand tightened. “Because I am. We’ve been going out for almost four months. Bucky’s a vet and he has a daughter named Becca.” Steve paused and glanced at Bucky, who gave him a weak smile. He turned back to face his teammates. “I’m bisexual.”

“Okay,” said Black Widow.

“Cool,” said Hawkeye.

“I knew that,” said Falcon. 

Steve looked at the Falcon. “No you didn’t, Sam.”

“Uh, yes, I did. I had to listen to your ass pine over this dude for weeks, I know you’re bi.”

“Pine?” Bucky asked, ears perking up with interest. He stepped toward the Falcon. “Hi, I’m Bucky, and I think we might have a mutually beneficial relationship.”

“Sam,” said the Falcon, “and I happen to agree.”

Steve groaned. “This is _not_ how I had expected this would go.”

Black Widow’s eyebrows quirked. “How did you expect it would go? We yell at you, denounce you, and kick you and your sad-puppy-eyes boyfriend out?”

_“Sad puppy eyes?”_

“Sort of,” Steve admitted. 

“This ain’t 1750 anymore, Cap,” said Iron Man. “If you want to date this emo Justin Bieber, you go ahead and date him.”

“Hold on—“

“Who’s Justin Bieber?”

“I am _not_ an emo Justin Bieber.”

“Talk to the hair, Sweet Cheeks.”

“Just because I have long hair doesn’t make me an emo Justin Bieber.”

“Sure it doesn’t. Isn’t that why you grew the hair? So you can cover your face and yell about how you aren’t a phase?”

“No,” Bucky said, blushing. “My daughter likes to play with it.”

Iron Man clutched at his chest. “Plot twist. Emo Justin Bieber is actually Stupidly Gullible John Stamos.”

“Who’s John Stamos?”

“I’m not gullible!”

“Tony,” Sam cried, “for Christ’s sake, leave him alone!”

Bucky stepped back, embarrassed at how worked up he’d gotten, but he found that Hawkeye and Black Widow were giving him appraising looks, and Steve was smiling softly at him. He smiled back in spite of himself.

“So,” Iron Man said, jumping over the back of the couch to fall on the cushion. “How are we playing this? Press release? I can probably get you in next year’s Pride parade. Or do we just go on Fox News and make out and send the message that way? I’m sure Pepper would understand.”

“Hold on,” Steve said, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “I’m not...this isn’t supposed to be a big thing, yet. Um, I mean, this is supposed to be a practice run. Just you guys.” He reached for Bucky’s hand again. “Practice.”

“What do you think about that?”

Bucky’s eyes snapped to Black Widow, who had spoken in a soft, dangerous voice. She was watching him with an unwavering gaze. “Me?” She smiled, a smile that Bucky didn’t trust the meaning of, and nodded. “Oh. Uh, well, I mean, Steve’s the one coming out. He should be the one to decide how and when.”

“And if he decides not to?”

“Then I’ll follow his lead.”

Black Widow inclined her chin slightly, and Bucky had the sense he had just been tested on something, although he wasn’t sure exactly what. Steve squeezed his hand a little. 

“Hey, Stamos,” Iron Man said. “Ever thought about a prosthetic?”

Bucky’s spine stiffened and the smile dropped off his face. He unconsciously wrapped his arm around himself, and took a step back. Visions of waking up in the hospital flashed behind his eyes. “No.”

“Really? Not ever?”

“Tony,” Steve said in a warning tone.

“Cause give me two hours with JARVIS and a titanium alloy and I could have you looking like Terminator.”

“I don’t want it,” Bucky said quietly.

“How do you even open cans?”

_“Tony!”_

Bucky startled at Steve’s shout, and it seemed to come as a surprise to the rest of his teammates too. Black Widow had another cryptic smile. “That is enough,” Steve growled through clenched teeth. “He said he doesn’t want it. Back off.”

Iron Man’s eyes narrowed. “I’m trying to help, Capsicle.”

“Bucky doesn’t need your help!”

“Bucky’s also right here,” Bucky mumbled. Steve turned to look at him and immediately turned red.

“I’m sorry, Buck—“

“It’s fine, Stevie.” Bucky squared his shoulders to face Iron Man. “There’s not a lot left. Any prosthetic would have to be screwed into my body to even have the possibility of functioning and still wouldn’t be able to support weight. The benefits don’t outweigh the cost.”

Iron Man looked at him in a weird way, like he was just now seeing Bucky for the first time. “What is it you do, Buckaroo?”

“I got my degree in astronomy, but I’ve been a stay-at-home dad since I was discharged.”

“Want to work for me?”

“...What?”

“We’re developing a line of prosthetics at Stark Industries,” Iron Man said. “I was going to just offer you a spot in the trial program but I think you might be more useful here. So, want to join the team?” 

Bucky glanced at Steve and muttered, “I can’t tell if he’s joking.”

“Me neither,” Steve mumbled back. 

“Alright, let’s sweeten the pot. 200k a year as a starting salary, plus benefits of course, and a month of paid vacation each year. Pending an interview with Pepper.”

Bucky’s mouth actually dropped open. Iron Man smiled smugly.

“We’ve got ‘im, folks.”

“I…” Bucky swallowed. “That’s a... _very_ generous offer, Mr. Stark,” he said slowly, “but I’m happy where I am.”

“You drive a hard bargain, kid. Fine. 300k.”

Three hundred thousand dollars a year. As a starting salary. He could move them to a nicer neighborhood, further downtown. Maybe next to a park. Becca could go to the best private schools New York had to offer. College tuition wouldn’t be anything to worry about. He could travel, show Becca just how big the world was. He could afford to get his PhD. Fix his car. Buy clothes that weren’t hand-me-downs for Becca. His entire future would be secure. 

Bucky’s mouth went dry. 

“Tony,” Sam was saying, “the dude didn’t come here for a job interview.”

“Of course not. The interview will be with Pepper.”

“I…” Bucky looked at Steve, helpless, and Steve luckily took the hint. 

“We’ll get back to you, Tony,” he said firmly, directing Bucky towards the elevators. 

“Hold on,” Black Widow said in her sickeningly sweet voice. “I’d like to get to know your friend.” She gestured to one of the armchairs. “Please, sit.” 

Bucky glanced at Steve, but he shrugged, and it was pretty clear that she wasn’t asking. Cautiously, Bucky sat down on the edge of an armchair, Steve sitting beside him. “I, uh—I mean, I’m not very interesting, compared to—“ Bucky gestured around “—all this, but if you need to vet me I understand that.”

Iron Man smirked. “Buckaroo, honey, JARVIS already did a full background check the first time you stepped foot in this building. Oh, that reminds me.” He pulled out a tablet that was so thin it looked like a pane of glass and scrolled through something. “What’s this about an arrest in 2013?”

“I was at a protest when some idiots started a fight with police. They arrested everyone there, but I was released in a couple hours and wasn’t charged.”

“And you were in the Army for seven years?”

“Yes. Enlisted at 23, served in infantry for five years and was in the Rangers the last two.”

“How’d you lose the arm?” Black Widow asked. 

Bucky froze, and he could feel his hands start shaking. Swallowing hard, he cut off Steve’s angry shout and said, “It’s fine, Steve. I was a POW. I lost it in the escape.”

Black Widow clicked her tongue. “And you have a young daughter?”

“Yeah. Becca. She’s four.”

“And how does that work? With your history?”

“You mean my PTSD?” Black Widow gave another cryptic smile. Bucky took a deep breath. “I have my room soundproofed so she can’t hear any nightmares.”

Sam frowned. “What if she needs- “

“Baby monitor,” Bucky supplied without waiting for the question to be finished. Steve was watching him with that soft look of concern, and Bucky gave him a tired smile. “Anyway,” he continued, “I have medications and I go to the VA every once in a while. If it gets really bad, my sister lives ten minutes away, and I’ll drop Becca off with her. She’s already in martial arts to learn how to defend herself if it comes to that, and she knows what to do if there’s some kind of emergency with me.”

“Smart kid.”

“Smarter than I am, that’s for sure.” 

Sam was watching him intently. “I work a lot with the VA, here in Manhattan,” he said. “Tuesday evenings at 5, every week.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Being with Steve means being with us,” Black Widow said. She held an intense eye contact with Bucky. “It means you’re also getting the missions and the press and the Avengers patented drinking games. Are you up for it?”

Bucky felt Steve’s eyes on him, and he turned to smile at Steve. His eyes were ridiculously blue, and his smile made the corners of his eyes crinkle. “Yeah,” Bucky said. “It’s worth it.”

“Ew! Sappiness!”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Steve dropped Bucky off at his house late that night. Bucky didn’t get out right away. He sat there, staring out of the window, until Steve gently took his hand and Bucky turned to offer a tired smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Steve swallowed. “I’m sorry about all of that. They shouldn’t have asked you all those things.”

“It’s okay, Steve.”

“Not, it’s not.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, obviously agitated. “Tony and Nat are just...pushy, I guess. Well, Tony’s pushy. Nat’s just always collecting information. If you don’t tell her something she’ll figure it out on her own.” Steve sighed and looked down at their intertwined hands, running his thumb along one of Bucky’s fingers. “They mean well. They’re just not good at the whole people thing.”

“Steve. I mean it. It’s okay. I knew what I was getting into.”

“Still. I wish you didn’t have to get into it.”

Bucky lifted his hand to gently kiss Steve’s palm. “I meant what I said back there. You’re worth it.”

“I…” Steve looked away and swallowed hard. “You could do a lot better than me. I’m definitely not normal, Bucky. I’m a man out of time.”

Bucky shifted in his seat so he was looking Steve dead on. “Listen to me. You are not a man out of time. You’re a man, with a boyfriend and a job and friends. And maybe that boyfriend is an amputee with a kid, and maybe that job is really weird, and maybe those friends are pushy, but...but they’re yours, Steve. Maybe this isn’t the time you expected to have, but it’s still yours.”

Steve was looking at him with that pained face that clearly said that as much as he wanted to, he didn’t believe Bucky. “And furthermore,” Bucky added, “I’m not normal either. For fuck’s sake, I’m a veteran with PTSD and one arm and I adopted a baby girl and I have a Master's degree in astronomy. I’m about as wacky as you can find ‘em, Steve.”

“You’re amazing,” Steve argued quietly.

“So are you.” 

Steve looked away, and Bucky grabbed his face and forced Steve to meet his eyes. “Hey. I will say it as many times as it takes to get it through that thick skull of yours. You are the most talented, generous, kind, sweet, intelligent, incredible person that I have ever met.” Steve chose not to argue and Bucky held back a sigh. He was going to make Steve know what he knew, eventually. For now, he satisfied himself with kissing Steve gently and flopping back into his seat.

“I guess I should go inside.”

“Is Becca at home?”

“No, she’s staying with my sister. They have Becca Sleepovers from time to time.”

Steve smiled. “Cute.” He leaned back in his seat. “So, you’ve met my family. Do you think, maybe, I could meet yours?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Really? You’d want to meet them?”

“Of course, Bucky. Before I come out or we take this any further. I want to make sure they approve of me.”

“Steve, you’re a walking god, of course they’ll love you.”

Steve shrugged bashfully. Bucky thought for a moment before saying, “My ma’s flying in for my niece’s bat mitzvah in a couple weeks. Maybe...maybe you could come with me?”

“I’d love to. Although I have to confess, I’m an Irish Catholic. I don’t know the first thing about bat mitzvahs.”

Bucky laughed. “That’s okay. If you aren’t the kid having the bat mitzvah then you don’t really need to do anything.”

“Did you have a bat mitzvah?”

“Well, it’s a bar mitzvah for boys, but yeah, I did. God, that was torture. I spent every afternoon after school in Hebrew school, because you have to read from the Torah in Hebrew. It’s a mess. The parties after are pretty fun, though.” Bucky smiled at Steve. “Don’t worry. I’m a casual Jew, so I’ll be the one in the spotlight at this. My ma gets real dramatic when I don’t know the prayers by heart.”

“What do you mean by casual?

“I don’t take Becca to temple services, don’t eat kosher, don’t really celebrate the holidays except the major ones where my whole family comes in.”

“Oh. So like only going to Christmas and Easter mass.”

“Gotta be honest, I’m not entirely sure, but I think so.”

“Those are the only two masses you have to attend each year to be in good standing with the church.”

“Then yes.”

Steve smiled. “I’d really like that. Going with you.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, breathing deeply. “Damn. This is happening, huh? You’re meeting my family.”

“Is it too early? If it’s too early, I don’t have to. I just want them to know first, before I come out and we go public.”

“It’s not too early, Steve. It’s not like there’s a book of rules for every relationship. I just…” Bucky smiled in spite of himself. “I can’t remember the last time I introduced someone I was dating to my parents. I think it was before I enlisted.” Bucky hesitated before continuing. “This may be too personal, and you don’t have to answer, but...am I the first person you’ve dated? Since you woke up?”

Steve looked out of the car window. There was a full moon, and the light gave an odd, ethereal quality to his expression. “Sort of,” he said slowly. “There were dates. But not _dating_ , if that makes sense.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m a little out of practice.”

Bucky snorted. “I have one arm and a kid, I might have you beat there.”

Steve sighed and turned to face Bucky, taking his hand. “What do you think about Tony’s offer?” he asked in a quiet voice. 

“I...I mean, goddamn.” Bucky let out a breathy laugh. “That much money...I could get a better house, put Becca in a better school. She could go to whatever college she wanted.” He paused. “But I love being a dad. I love going to all her little events and taking her to the park. Being able to spend all of my time with her. But then with Stark, I could be working with Thor and finding new galaxies _. Universes_.”

Bucky, almost without thinking, slumped over to rest his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve startled, but immediately recovered and began running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “It would be cool,” Bucky admitted. “And plenty of parents make it work. How can I justify staying where I am when I could be providing for Becca like that?”

“Take it from a guy who never had any,” Steve murmured, “money doesn’t equal happiness. Not happiness, not success, not security. What matters is that Becca has a dad who loves her and spends time with her and is happy. So do what makes you happy.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Bucky listened to the soft jazz playing on the radio and realized with a smile that this was his life now, with Steve. He could do this every day if he wanted to. “Maybe I’ll do the interview,” he said slowly. “Just to...find out more.”

Steve bent down to kiss the top of his head. Bucky sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned into the touch. “I really like you,” Steve murmured against Bucky’s hair. “We fit.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

In the weeks before his niece’s bat mitzvah, Bucky went out on five more dates with Steve. If you could call them that. Two of them were just sitting on Bucky’s couch together, watching reruns and eating junk and kissing while keeping an ear out for Becca’s cries. (Bucky counted them.)

He seemed to wear a permanent grin on his face. The Black Widow had told him to call her Natasha, which Steve said meant that she liked him. He had Sam’s number and started going to the VA with him. He had officially signed the papers to work part-time at Stark Industries. Becca had been enjoying kindergarten and was making friends. He had Steve. It was the happiest Bucky had been in a really long time. 

They both went to Sara’s bat mitzvah. Steve had been calling Bucky all day trying to figure out what he should wear. They went together and sat with the rest of Bucky’s family, who were all anxiously waiting to interrogate Steve—all Bucky had said was that he was bringing a date, and left them to their own imaginations. Steve whole-heartedly muddled through the prayers and songs, although his Hebrew pronunciations were terrible and his singing voice was off-key, and Bucky’s heart grew three sizes watching him listen to the speech Sara had prepared on her Torah portion, nodding his head every so often with a soft smile on his face.

“So it’s like Confirmation,” Steve said to Bucky after, as they snacked on fruit dipped in chocolate. “Initiation.”

“Yeah, pretty much. What’s Confirmation all about?”

Steve sucked on a pineapple spear. “Confirming your identity as a Catholic, and becoming a full member of the church. You choose a confirmation name—that’s the name of a saint—and that saint is supposed to stay close to you.”

“What saint did you choose?”

“Saint Jude,” Steve said with a wry smile. “Patron saint of lost causes.”

“Do you still go to church?”

Steve thought before answering. “I didn’t,” he said, “for a while. I started going again just to feel closer to my ma. I found one in Latin, but it's still pretty different than it was back then. It's nice, though. There's still the incense and hymns, and it's not like the Bible readings have changed. There's a few more saints than there were before but that's no big deal. Sometimes, for a second, it feels like back when I was a kid."

Bucky smiled. “Sounds nice.” He popped a chocolate-covered strawberry into his mouth. “Now what’s the point of saints, again?”

Steve’s reply was interrupted by all three of Bucky’s sisters coming up to them at once with devious smiles.

“So,” OG Becca said in a tone Bucky didn’t trust, “you must be Bucky’s date.”

“Yes ma’am. My name’s Steve.” Steve reached out his hand and shook Becca’s, who looked very amused. 

“I’m not old enough to be called ma’am,” she laughed. “We’ll save that for Mary here.”

“Hey, Georgie’s older than me!” Mary protested.

“Yeah,” Georgie said, “but you also have three more children than I do.”

“If they’re Mary and Georgie,” Steve said with a smile, “that must make you Becca’s namesake.”

“The one and only.” Becca looped her arm through Steve’s and pulled him away from Bucky. “So, Steve, Bucky’s been awfully secretive about you.”

“Ma!” Mary yelled, waving wildly. “Ma, come meet Bucky’s date!”

Bucky groaned as his ma made a beeline for them, stopping to kiss the side of his head before turning to Steve. “Hello, I’m Winifred Barnes.”

“Pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Steve said with a dazzling smile. “I’m Steve.”

“How old are you, Steve?” Georgie asked.

Steve’s eyes widened and he glanced at Bucky, who shrugged. “Uh, well, I like to say that I’m 30.”

Bucky’s sisters laughed. “I know what you mean,” Mary said. “Since the triplets came I feel like I’m going to start going gray any second now.”

“Now you know how I felt raising the four of you,” Bucky’s ma said. She smiled kindly at Steve. “So, Steve, what do you do?”

“Um, I work for the government.”

“Really?”

“Yes, ma’am. I do a lot of international work.”

Becca smirked. “A do-gooder. No wonder Bucky likes you.”

“Becca,” Bucky said in a warning tone. “I’ve got plenty of stories about you.”

“You _wouldn’t.”_

“Watch me.”

“James, Rebecca, please,” Bucky’s ma said, exasperated. “Are you Jewish as well?”

“No, ma’am, I’m Catholic.”

Bucky could tell his ma didn’t love that answer, but she thankfully kept her mouth shut.

“How did you and Bucky meet?” Mary asked.

“At Target.”

Becca rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, of course you did.”

“Rebecca.”

“Sorry, ma. Oh my ever-loving french fries, of course you did.”

Bucky’s ma sighed, and Bucky resigned himself to an evening of no alone time with Steve. He went to hug Sara and congratulate her, and then feasted on the impressive array of desserts while chatting with some cousins he hadn’t seen in a long time. The Barnes family was big, and took up the entire ballroom Georgie and her husband had rented out. Then Bucky’s Aunt Martha showed up and dragged him into a long, long conversation about how soon he would get married and have more kids. When Bucky’s ma walked up and asked to talk to him in private, it was a welcome relief. 

That was, until they got into an empty hallway and she said, “I don’t think you should be dating Steve.”

Bucky blinked at her. “Um...why? Because he’s not Jewish? You know I don’t care about all that—“

“No, James, that’s not the reason,” his ma said. She looked very tired. “Of course, I wouldn’t mind if you could find a nice Jewish boy, but that’s not the reason. He’s wrong for you, James.”

“I like him, Ma.”

“I know. But I want to tell you now, before you take this any further, that I don’t think you’ll be happy with him.”

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand. “Um, okay. Why?”

“I get the sense he’s hiding something. All that talk about government work? Very vague. He could be married, and his ‘international trips’ are visits to his real family.”

“Ma—“

“And even if it’s not, is that really the man you want in Becca’s life? Someone constantly coming and going? Kids need stability, James. The both of you need someone you can rely on.”

“Listen, Ma—“

“No, I know you think I’m being unreasonable, but I’m not. He’s a very polite boy. But there’s something going on there, James, that he’s hiding.”

“Ma,” Bucky cut in, exasperated, “Steve is Captain America.”

His ma stared at him, her mouth partially open with the ghost of whatever point against Steve she had been bringing up next. “That’s why he was dodgy about his work, and his age,” Bucky explained. “He’s Steve Rogers. Captain America.”

His ma cleared her throat. “Well...I will admit I did not expect to hear that.”

“I know it brings up a whole other set of problems,” Bucky went on, anxious to fix his ma’s image of Steve, “and I know that the stability is an issue, and that Becca could get hurt—Jesus, Ma, that’s all I’ve been able to think about. But he’s a really great guy. He—“ Bucky’s throat caught and he paused to gather himself before he continued in a softer voice, “He’s a great guy. He’s so kind and generous, and he’s great with Becca. I’m really happy, Ma.”

“James, you know all I want is for you to be happy. But are you sure you can be in a relationship with someone so...infamous?"

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that. But honestly, Ma, if it means I get to be with him, then I think I’m okay putting up with all the other stuff.” 

Bucky stepped closer and took her hand. “Look, Ma, he wanted to meet you all before we went public. In a couple weeks he’s going to release a statement and come out. He just...he wanted to have your approval, first. And I really wish you’d give it to him.”

His ma was quiet for a moment. “Do your sisters know?”

“If they realized, they haven’t said anything. I was going to tell you guys, I swear, I just wanted to make sure no one overheard.”

“He’s a good man?”

Bucky’s face split into a grin. “The best.” 

His ma smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Well then,” she said. “I would like to talk to Steve. Bring him out here, won’t you?”

Bucky kissed her cheek before running back into the ballroom. Steve’s head was poking up far past his sisters’, and he almost ran over to him. 

“Hey,” Steve said with a smile.

“Hey. Come with me.”

Bucky ignored Becca’s lewd comments as he took Steve’s hand and dragged him back through the ballroom, into the hallway and around the corner to where his ma was still standing, a thoughtful look on her face. 

“Hello, ma’am,” Steve said, glancing between her and Bucky. “Is everything alright?”

“James told me. About you.” 

Steve’s smile dropped. “Oh, I see. I’m very sorry for misleading you, ma’am—“

“Steve, please,” his ma interrupted, holding up one hand. “That’s not necessary. I assure you that I understand perfectly. James also told me that you were planning to release a statement about your relationship.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You’d be proud for the country to know you’re dating my son?”

Steve turned to beam at Bucky. “Very proud.”

“James,” his ma said, “please go round up your sisters and share the news with them. Steve and I have some things to discuss.”

Bucky glanced uncertainly at Steve, but he nodded and smiled, so Bucky regretfully dropped his hand and walked away. He spared one glance over his shoulder as he turned the corner. His ma had a hand on Steve’s shoulder, forcing him into a crouch.

Finding his sisters turned out to be a lot easier than Bucky had expected, because they were all huddled outside the ballroom, chatting and giggling.

“Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?” Bucky asked. 

“Your boy toy,” Becca responded with a smirk. “We’ve decided we like him. Although if you ever get tired of him, I’d be happy to borrow him for a night or two.”

“Ew, gross, no.” 

His sisters giggled. “Seriously though,” said Mary, who was always the most serious of the three, “we do like him. We approve of you dating him. You’ve dated much worse people.”

“Ha ha ha,” Bucky said without humor. His sisters laughed at him more. “I kind of meant to tell you something.”

“Okay,” Georgie said with a raised eyebrow.

Bucky took a deep breath, steeled himself, and said, “Steve is Captain America.”

“Um, we know, genius.”

Bucky gaped. His sisters looked unimpressed.

“Dude, we’ve all been through APUSH,” Becca said. “We can recognize Steve Rogers."

“I spent my junior year of high school writing fanfiction about that guy,” Mary added. 

“Yeah,” said Georgie, “you have _got_ to tell us how that super strength works in bed.”

“Um, I am never going to tell my baby sisters anything like that.”

Becca gasped and turned to Mary and Georgie. “Bucky hasn’t hit that.” They both gasped too. 

“We’re taking it slow,” Bucky argued, face flushing. 

“Dude, have you _seen_ him? That is not a take-things-slow guy! That is a let’s-hook-up-right-now guy.”

The rabbi just happened to be walking past at that moment, and gave Becca a scathing look. She didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed. 

“Look, he said he wanted to wait until things were official so I wouldn’t feel like he was taking advantage and he doesn’t want to make things official until he comes out and goes public and he doesn’t want to go public until he gets the Barnes family seal of approval.”

“Well,” said Becca with a smirk, “now I understand why you were so anxious for us to meet him.”

“Becca, I swear—“

“We obviously love him,” Mary interrupted. “In case there was any doubt of that. I’m not sure we’re qualified to give approval, you might have to wait for Ma for that, but we really, really like him.”

“He’s not _just_ Captain America,” Bucky began.

Georgie rolled her eyes. “Yes, Bucky, we know that. Honestly, I went in with very low expectations ‘cause Captain America’s kind of a square.”

“Hey—“

“But Steve’s great. He’s pretty freaking funny and he has an impressive number of dog memes on his phone.”

“He _also,”_ Mary said with a sharp look at her sisters, “seems very sweet and seems to like you a lot. We were just saying that you should invite him to Rosh Hashanah dinner so we can get to know him better.”

“Do _I_ have to go to Rosh Hashanah dinner?”

Mary gave him an unimpressed look.

“Fine.”

Becca the Sequel came bounding up to him, jumping into his arms. Immediately grinning, Bucky lifted her in the air and spun her around so her dress did that twirly thing Becca loved. “Hey, sweet pea!” He kissed her cheek, and Becca giggled. “All done playing?”

“Uh huh. I want to show Bubbe my coloring!” Becca waved around the page in her hand. “It’s a penguin!”

“Woah! Can I see?”

Becca unfurled it and held it up for Bucky to see. Bucky squinted. “...I love the colors,” he said. 

“The penguin is purple,” Becca said proudly.

“It sure is.” Bucky pointed at the blue scribble on top of what he thought was the penguin. “What’s this?”

“His hair. See, Daddy, it’s long like yours!”

Bucky kissed Becca’s cheek again. “I love it, sweet pea.” 

“Hey BJ,” said Other Becca, “you know Steve, right?”

Becca gave a gap-toothed grin. “Uh huh! He watched _Moana_ with me!” 

His sisters turned to look at Bucky. He shrugged. “He wanted to see what the fuss was all about.”

“And?”

“And, he's memorized all the words to ‘How Far I'll Go.’”

“No one knows!” Becca sang in a shrill voice. Bucky grinned and rested his chin on her head.

“How far it goes!”

Bucky whipped around to see Steve striding towards him, a broad smile on his face. Without thinking, he stepped forward to kiss him; then, all at once, he remembered Becca, who was excitedly chanting the words to the song. Bucky took a step back before setting Becca down on the floor.

“Hey sweet pea, can you go find your Bubbe for me?”

Becca accordingly sprinted off, throwing her arms behind her and zooming down the hall while making race car sounds. Once she had turned the corner Bucky immediately closed the gap and pressed a soft kiss to Steve’s lips.

“Can we kiss in front of your sisters?” Steve whispered. 

At that, Bucky grabbed him by the neck and dipped him, thoroughly enjoying how Steve’s flailing and his sisters’ disgusted shouts. Steve was obviously okay with it though, if him slipping Bucky some tongue was any indication.

“We are at a religious celebration!” Becca: Original Version cried, clutching her chest.

Bucky pulled Steve back up and smirked at Becca, watching from the corner of his eye how Steve’s blush deepened and spread down the back of his neck. “I, uh—“ Steve cleared his throat and glanced around at Bucky’s sisters. “I’ll go get a drink of water.”

Steve quickly strode off, and Becca and Georgie were kind enough to wait until he’d turned the corner before bursting into laughter. Becca wheezed and grabbed onto Mary’s sweater for support. 

“Shut up, all of you,” Bucky said, trying to be stern despite the smile threatening to spread over his face. “Especially you, Georgie, not like you and Richard are any better.”

“Excuse you, Richard and I at least have the decency to wait until we’re not in the middle of our daughter’s bat mitzvah celebration.”

“Steve!” 

Bucky turned to see Becca Two ram into Steve’s legs, shouting and jumping and clinging for dear life. Steve looked uncertain for a second. Then, smiling, he started clomping down the hall, every giant step sending Becca, who was attached to his leg, into a frenzy of giggles.

“God, that’s adorable,” Becca One sighed. Bucky silently agreed. 

His ma followed them down the hall and watched with amusement as Becca let go and began demanding that Steve pick her up. For the first time, Steve visibly hesitated. 

“Sorry, Becca, I don’t want you to fall,” he said, looking to Bucky for help. Bucky almost laughed at the idea of Steve _dropping_ a kid, like he couldn’t bench press Bucky, but he stifled it at the sincere concern on Steve’s face.

Becca, on the other hand, did not think it was a laughing matter. “Up!” she yelled, little hands curling into fists. 

Bucky swooped in. “Becca,” he said firmly, “when we ask someone for something, we say please. We don’t yell.”

“I want up!”

Becca burst into tears, and Bucky swallowed a groan. He checked his watch. Yeah, that seemed about right—he had never believed for a second they’d make it through the evening service _and_ the whole party without a meltdown. “And that’s our cue.” He scooped Becca up, still crying and yelling for Steve, and said goodbye to his sisters. Steve shook all their hands and gave his patented Captain America smile. Bucky thought Becca One might start swooning.

“Say bye to Bubbe, Becca,” Bucky said. He caught an errant fist in his face for his efforts. Sighing, he leaned down so his ma could hug him. “Bye, Ma. We’ll see you for dinner tomorrow before you leave.”

He inclined his head, beckoning Steve to follow him, and walked away. By the time they reached his car, Becca was fast asleep on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Steve said softly. “I haven’t really held kids before. I was scared I would drop her or something.”

“It’s okay, Steve. She was just tired and cranky, it’s way past her bedtime. Here, can you grab my keys? Back pocket.”

Steve extracted the keys. Bucky then began the rather difficult process of manoeuvering a sleeping child into a carseat with one hand. Steve stayed silent until Bucky had clipped the straps together.

“Have you thought about the prosthetic?” Steve asked once they had both gotten in the car. Bucky chewed on his lip. He turned on the car, checked his mirrors, and pulled out of the parking spot. 

“Yeah,” he said, once they were already on the street heading home. “But it’s like I said. Not worth it.”

Steve hummed softly, and turned to look out of the window. “He’s been sending me things. I’m not sure why he isn’t just sending them to you, but.”

“What kind of things?”

“Diagrams, prototype drawings, a bunch of techy stuff that I don’t understand.”

Bucky snorted. “Well, until he can get it to hold Becca’s weight, the answer’s no.”

Steve was quiet for a while, fiddling with the radio until he settled on some soft jazz. “Did your family like me?” he asked after several minutes. Bucky glanced at him. Steve was biting his bottom lip, looking miserable. “I don’t think your mom was a big fan.”

“Steve, that’s because she thought you were hiding some sort of secret family.”

Steve’s eyes widened in alarm. Bucky quickly continued, “Once I told her everything, she warmed up to it. What did the two of you talk about?”

“Becca, mostly. Whether or not I liked kids, what experience I had with them. She asked a few questions about the war.”

Bucky’s eyes snapped to Steve. “God, of course one of them would say something stupid,” he growled, turning his focus back on the road in time to avoid a plastic bag. “I’ll call her tomorrow, she’s not a fucking fangirl—“

“Bucky,” Steve interrupted gently. “It’s okay. It wasn’t like that. It was more like...could I take care of myself and you at the same time.”

“Oh. Well. I mean it, if any of them start talking like reporters and asking personal questions, tell me and I’ll shut that shit right down.”

Steve shrugged. “Sam thinks that I should talk about it more.”

“I think,” said Bucky as he turned on his blinker, “that you don’t need to get started by talking about it with my mother.”

“Maybe not. What else do you think?”

Bucky sighed. “I went through the therapy and VA meetings when I got back. It was...rough. Really rough, at first. I guess talking about it helped, but it’s still hard. I can’t even talk about it with my family. They don’t know anything except that I went in with two arms and left with one.”

“Do you ever want to tell them more?”

“Sometimes,” Bucky admitted. He glanced at Becca in his rearview mirror, head slumped to the side as she slept, hair falling in her face. “And other times, I want to keep that stuff as far away from them as possible.”

Steve nodded, and they drove in silence.

When Bucky finally pulled up in front of his house and Steve asked if he could help, he didn’t think anything of it. He turned off the car and let Steve carefully unbuckle Becca. Steve stepped back then, sheepishly, and Bucky smiled in spite of himself. Like Steve could ever hurt Becca. But he leaned over and picked her up without argument, and allowed Steve to unlock his front door and lead them inside. It wasn’t until Bucky had gently laid Becca down on her bed and Steve had helped him swap out her fancy dress for a pajama dress with Moana on it that Bucky realized what was going on.

Steve was helping him put Becca to bed. 

Bucky smothered his smile as he led Steve out of the room and carefully shut the door. “Thanks,” he said.

“No problem.”

Steve raked his hand through his hair. “I should get going.”

“You could stay here,” Bucky said without thinking. 

Steve looked at him. Bucky flushed. “I mean,” he continued, “it’s pretty late. You could take my bed, and I could ride the couch for tonight.”

“Yes,” Steve said slowly. “That is an option.” Bucky’s breath hitched as Steve stepped forward to close the gap between them, his hand curling around the back of Bucky’s neck. “Or,” Steve murmured, “we can share.”

Bucky swallowed. “Um, I get nightmares,” he said. Steve gave him a look. “No, I mean...they can be violent. I’ve accidentally hurt someone I was sleeping with before.”

“I’m Captain America,” Steve said. “You won’t hurt me.”

“Steve…”

Steve bent down, his breath fanning across Bucky’s neck. Slowly, gently, he began sucking on a patch of skin below Bucky’s ear. Bucky lost the ability to breathe completely. 

“Fuck.”

“No funny business,” Steve said in a tone of voice that made Bucky want to insist there _would_ be funny business. “Just sleep. You can’t hurt me, Buck.”

The ‘Buck’ tipped him over the edge and Bucky sank into Steve’s embrace with a sigh. “Okay, fine.”

Steve grinned. He turned and, with a running start, leapt onto Bucky’s bed, and Bucky stared open-mouthed as Steve bounced, beaming all the way. “Are you six years old?”

“One hundred, actually.” Bucky rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him. Now he was starting to get nervous again.

“I’ll just…” Bucky snatched up the t-shirt and boxers hanging off the edge of his bed and pointed towards the bathroom. “Do that.” He practically fled to the bathroom, and was only able to exhale when the door was firmly closed behind him. 

Okay. He was going to sleep with Steve. This wasn’t a problem. He’d slept with Steve before, by accident, and it had been fine. Distractedly, Bucky peeled off his suit and tugged on the t-shirt. No big deal. Just sleep.

Bucky took a deep breath and opened the door. His mouth went dry.

Steve was standing there wearing nothing but a very short, very _tight_ pair of underwear. 

A little groan escaped Bucky’s lips.

Steve, the little shit, didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. He smirked at Bucky and said, “Didn’t bring pajamas with me.” 

Bucky averted his eyes as he got into bed and said, “You’re not making this easy on me.”

Steve’s grin only widened. 

Bucky turned off the light. Almost immediately, Steve pressed against his back, curling around him so all Bucky could feel was warm, soft skin. “Goodnight, Buck,” Steve mumbled out. 

It took Bucky a very long time to fall asleep.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“Daddy? I’m awake!”

Bucky, still half-asleep, hit ‘talk’ on the baby monitor and said blearily, “Good morning, sweet pea.”

“Can you help me get dressed?”

“Of course. I’ll be there in just a second.”

Bucky sighed, and began to shift when he realized there was a giant mass of muscle huddled around him. He suddenly felt wide-awake. _Crap._

“Steve,” he whispered, poking Steve in the side. He made a noise but didn’t wake up. _“Steve!”_

“Why are you whisper-yelling at me?” came Steve’s mumbled answer.

“Becca’s up.”

Steve sat up. “Oh crap.”

Bucky leapt out of bed and threw some clothes at Steve. “Put these on! My four-year-old daughter can not see you in your underwear!”

“Daddy!” Becca knocked on the door. “You’re taking so long!”

“What do we say about patience, Becca?” Bucky grabbed Steve and started pushing him towards the bathroom as Steve was attempting to yank on a pair of Bucky’s sweatpants, sending both of them crashing to the floor.

“Daddy?”

“I tripped, Becca, I’m okay!” Bucky got Steve into the bathroom and yanked the door shut, taking a moment to exhale before going to open the door. Becca was standing on her tip-toes. 

“I have ballet today, remember?” she said with a gap-toothed grin. Bucky bit back a curse word. He did _not_ remember. 

“Of course. But that’s not until…” Bucky glanced back at his alarm clock and jumped. “Oh god, twenty minutes!” He grabbed Becca’s hand and tugged her towards her room. “Okay, sweet pea, I need you to get your leotard on while I make you breakfast.”

“I can’t get it on by myself!”

Bucky chewed on his lip for a second before responding. “Alright, I’ll come help you. Give me one second.”

Bucky darted back into his room and opened the bathroom door. Steve, now clothed, poked his head out. “What’s going on?”

“We’re running late for ballet,” Bucky said, grabbing a pair of sweatpants for himself and yanking them on. “I need you to go downstairs and get breakfast. Cheerios in the purple bowl. Apple juice in the turquoise cup that has Moana on it. Both should have lids, cabinet next to the sink.”

“On it,” Steve said, and he only paused to make sure Becca wasn’t standing in the hallway before darting downstairs. Bucky reminded himself to breathe as he hurried to Becca’s room. 

Between the four-year-old and the one-armed amputee, getting the leotard and tights on was a little more difficult than it probably should’ve been. Then Becca’s hair had to be in a bun, and Bucky was convinced God was playing some sort of cosmic joke on him. He gave up on that for Steve to do and pulled Becca downstairs. “Come on, sweet pea, we can’t be late for your first class.”

Becca stopped suddenly, pouting her lip. “What if everybody laughs at me?” she said quietly.

Bucky knelt down so he was at eye-level. “Then you whip out your karate moves.”

Becca giggled, and Bucky smiled. He took a moment to kiss her forehead and store this memory away for later before continuing their rush downstairs. 

Steve was just putting the lid on the bowl as they came down, and Bucky immediately said, “We need her hair in a bun.” Becca looked at Bucky.

“Why is Steve here for a playdate?”

“I’ll explain later,” Bucky said hurriedly. He downed his meds and inhaled a granola bar while Steve managed to wrangle Becca’s curls into something resembling a bun. He pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s lips, placed a hand on Becca’s back, and juggled his keys and her breakfast as he went out the door to his car. 

He was sitting in the parents waiting room (only fifteen minutes late, which wasn’t bad) when he finally got a chance to breathe. He was the only dad there, and a couple of moms were giving him the side-eye. He knew he looked horrible. Hair unbrushed, still wearing the t-shirt he slept in, and he had realized after they’d gotten in the car that this particular pair of sweatpants had holes around the knees. Bucky rubbed his eyes, and pulled out his phone to see a text.

 **_(unknown number)_ ** _: Guess what :)_

 **_Bucky_ ** _: who dis_

 ** _(unknown number)_** _:_ _Captain America_

Bucky grinned in spite of himself. _They let me hve ur phone #?!_

 **_Steve_ ** _: More like I demanded, but who’s keeping track?_

 **_Steve_ ** _: How’s ballet?_

 **_Bucky_ ** _: becca looks good but these moms r givn me sideeye_

 **_Steve_ ** _: What’s that?_

 **_Bucky_ ** _: theyre judging_

 **_Bucky_ ** _: & i havent brushed my teeth so cant blme em _

**_Bucky_ ** _: srry 4 rushing out on u like that_

 **_Steve_ ** _: It’s okay, Buck. It happens._

 **_Steve_ ** _: Hope it’s okay, but I had to take your spare key to lock the door. Had to go to training._

 **_Bucky_ ** _: of course its ok_

Bucky looked up to see Becca doing a spin with the rest of her group, and smiled. He held up his phone to take a picture.

 **_Bucky_ ** _: [attachment: 1 image]_

 **_Steve_ ** _: Oh my god_

 **_Steve_ ** _: She’s so cute, I’m gonna die._

 **_Bucky_ ** _: after this morning, u’ve got a ticket to the recital, if u want it_

 **_Steve_ ** _: I’d love one_

 **_Steve_ ** _: By the way, I’m about to leave on a work trip. Shouldn’t be any more than a week._

 **_Bucky_ ** _: ok. stay safe_

And maybe just because he was feeling happy, watching Becca dance, or maybe because he would miss Steve like crazy, Bucky added a heart emoji. He chewed on his lip, tried not to think of Steve being shot at, and returned his attention to Becca. She saw him watching and stopped to wave wildly. The instructor sent him a withering glare for distracting her. He didn’t care.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Halloween for Becca was, like it is for most four-almost-five-year-olds, a big deal. Bucky had ordered her costume (guess what it was) months ago, and every day in the week leading up to Halloween Becca insisted on trying it on to make sure it still fit, and only the threat of Bucky taking away _Moana_ privileges until Thanksgiving was enough for her to hang the costume back in her closet and leave it there until the day. Because it was the end of October, she had to wear a long-sleeve and fleece leggings under it, so she was a rather unique-looking Moana, but the point got across. 

What Bucky hadn’t expected, though, was how excited Steve was about it. On the day of Halloween, Bucky picked Becca up from school and got home to find Steve on his front stoop. He had a strange conglomeration of turquoise and orange feathers stuffed into bright blue pants, with long, spindly orange shoes and what looked like a paper beak pulled over his mouth. 

“Oh my god.”

“Steve!” Becca screeched. She leapt out of the car and rushed into his arms, bouncing with joy. “You’re Hei Hei!” 

Steve removed his beak and gave Bucky a sheepish grin. “Sam helped me put it together,” he explained. 

Bucky hurried Becca inside so that he could press Steve against the wall and, carefully moving the beak so it didn’t poke his eye out, kiss him. What a ridiculous man. Bucky realized that he was probably falling in love.

Bucky’s costume was not so inspired. Becca had begged for him to wear a costume, so he had found a fake eyepatch at Georgie’s and was going as a pirate. This, of course, was before he knew Steve was going to come in full chicken costume. He stumbled out the door after Becca and Steve with his sad little eyepatch and mentally vowed to blow them all out of the water next year. Hopefully by next year Becca had moved on from _Moana_. Steve and Becca’s costumes, however, were big hits in the Barnes family group chat. And of course the added benefit was that no one expected Captain America to go trick-or-treating as a giant chicken, so Steve was in no danger of being recognized. 

Becca insisted on Steve going to trick-or-treat with her, and Bucky felt comfortable enough with Steve to stay home and hand out candy to all the kids that came banging on his door. He turned on a movie (with curse words!), poured himself a glass of wine, and sat back to relax.

In hindsight, he should've known better.

Less than 45 minutes after they left, they came stumbling back in, Becca shouting and screaming unintelligibly. Bucky leapt up, a thousand horrifying scenarios running through his head, when Steve and Becca walked in and he saw that Steve’s crumpled beak was hung around his neck, his feathers were rumpled, and he was sporting some rather impressive bruises on his face.

Bucky, whose mind had constructed some rather impressive situations that all ended with Becca seriously injured, was so relieved he wanted to scream. So he did.

“What the _hell_ happened?”

Steve winced. “It’s a long story.”

“It better be a fucking good one!”

Becca gasped. “Daddy, that’s a bad word!” she admonished. 

Bucky checked her over for injury; once he was satisfied that she was perfectly fine, he said sternly, “Becca, go upstairs and change into your pajamas.”

“But _Daddy—_ ”

“It’s not up for debate.”

Becca pouted, but obviously saw there was nothing to be done. She stumbled off up the stairs and Bucky rounded on Steve. “You got in a fucking _fight?”_

“Wait a sec—”

“She’s four years old, Steve! You can’t be off brawling in the street! I trusted you to take care of her!”

“Bucky—” 

“That's my fucking daughter and you could've gotten her _hurt_ , Steve, could've gotten her killed!”

 _“Bucky!”_ Steve interrupted, cheeks red. “Some asshole heard her talking to me in Spanish and told me I should’ve left her in Mexico.”

Bucky’s retort was cut off, and he stared, mouth agape. Steve sighed. “I told him off and it turns out he had plenty of friends. And I couldn’t fight back—not without giving myself away.”

“What...did they get Becca?”

“No. She was perfect, she ran into a police precinct down the street and got an officer to break up the fight. It was six-to-one, so they let me go ‘cause they didn’t think I’d be stupid enough to start something with that many people.”

“Little did they know,” Bucky muttered. Steve huffed a laugh, then winced, finger going to brush against the bruise forming on his cheekbone. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I know I shouldn’t have let them rile me up.”

“No, I...I’m the one who’s sorry. I got scared.” With a sigh, Bucky leaned into Steve’s arms, forehead pressing against his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Takes more than a few drunk idiots to stop me.”

“Good.”

“Daddy!” came a distant shout. “I’m in my pajamas! Can I eat my candy?”

“Come down here, Becca, we’ll go through it together.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve repeated. 

“Me too.” Bucky groaned. “God, I can’t believe I yelled at Becca.”

“You might need to give her a treat.” Steve winked.

With a sigh, Bucky lifted his head and yelled, “Becca, once you get downstairs we can put on _Moana!”_

Becca came crashing down the stairs so quickly Bucky thought it was a miracle she didn’t fall and break her neck.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“Your phone is fully charged?”

“Yes, Steve.”

“And you’ll keep it on, right? So you see any messages?”

“Yes, Steve.” Bucky grinned. “It’s a couple hours. You’ll watch _Moana_ , put her to bed, and that’ll be that.”

Steve exhaled and ran his hands through his hair. He had been pacing around Bucky’s living room for twenty minutes now. “I’ve never been alone with Becca before,” he said, sounding a little out of breath. “What if something happens?”

“That’s why I gave you the carseat.”

“What if she hates me?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Steve, you’re over here all the time. She doesn’t hate you. I actually think she might like you more than she likes me.”

“What if she doesn’t go to sleep?”

“She knows the drill with babysitters, Steve. The only way she won’t go to sleep is if you let her not go to sleep.” At the anxious look on Steve’s face, Bucky sighed. “Look, after the movie you’ll go upstairs and read a book—you can do one of the English ones—and then she’ll try to get you to read another book but you don’t have to, and then just turn on the nightlight and her music and she’s golden.”

“Book, nightlight, music.”

“Yep. Easy.” Bucky kissed Steve, trying to smooth away some of the worry wrinkles. “I’ll be back by ten.”

Steve relaxed a bit, and smiled weakly. “Ten.”

“You’ll survive, pal.” 

Bucky turned away from Steve and went over to the couch, where Becca was not-so-patiently waiting for _Moana_ to start. Bucky dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “Goodnight, sweet pea. I’ll be here when you wake up. Te quiero.”

“Te quiero, Daddy.” Becca groaned. “Y yo quiero _Moana!”_

“Lo sé,” Bucky responded, stifling a grin. “Steve va a empezarlo.” He turned to Steve. “You better hurry up and press play, buddy.” 

Steve rolled his eyes and Bucky pressed one more kiss to his cheek before grabbing his keys. With one look back to the couch, where Becca had curled into Steve’s lap, he walked out the door. 

America was waiting for him in their usual booth, already nursing a beer. At the sight of Bucky she took a long drink. “Hey,” he said weakly.

“Hey.” She gestured to the booth. “Siéntate.”

He sat. She slid him an unopened beer. “I owe you an apology,” he began. He unlocked his phone and slid it over to her. “Tomorrow, this press statement is going to go out.” 

America read the text on his phone, her expression changing from annoyance to wonder. She looked up at Bucky. “We’ve been dating for a couple months,” he said, flushing under the attention. “And it’s honestly all thanks to you. If I hadn’t been trying to prove you wrong I never would’ve made a move.”

“Well,” said America, trying to hide her satisfaction behind her beer. “Is el guapo as good as he seems?”

Bucky beamed. “Better.”

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

For Immediate Release: 

_Hello. My name is Steve Rogers, although you may know me as Captain America._

_For a long time, I’ve known something about myself that scared me to death. I could’ve been imprisoned or sent to an institution. There were a few times when that almost happened. If I hadn’t been able to run, or fight off the cops, I wouldn’t be standing here today. From the moment I realized at 17 that I was bisexual, my life became infinitely more complicated._

_I’m taking the opportunity to come out now for two reasons. The first is that by some miracle, I’m lucky enough to be reborn in a time where I’m no longer a criminal. The second is that I’m proud of who I am, and of the man I’ve been lucky enough to share these past few months of my life with._

_Thank you for listening, for respecting our privacy and, most of all, for the great forward movement in this country that’s allowed this to happen. Change is never easy, but it’s necessary. I’m grateful to all others who believe that._

_\- Steve Rogers_


	3. Winter

[ ](https://images2.imgbox.com/45/67/ADEWLHB7_o.jpg)

*********************

Bucky had known the press release would cause some frenzy. He wasn’t quite prepared for how intense it was. 

There were reporters stretched around the entire Avengers headquarters, so thick you had to practically wade through them. As a result, Steve had been camped out at his house for the past week. Not that Bucky really minded. The good thing about all the crazy was that they didn’t have a clue who the mystery man was. Stark had done a good job of sealing any leaks that may have popped up with pictures of the two of them on dates. Bucky didn’t ask about that. He was perfectly content to lay low with Steve, going to work and getting Becca to all her activities and watching movies late into the night. Steve had started picking Becca up from kindergarten in the afternoons and taking her to do things. One weekend they went to Prospect Park, and he and Steve kissed while Becca bounced around in the frosty grass. For the first time, Bucky liked that winter clothes made you look like a marshmallow—no one could possibly identify Steve. Which meant Bucky was perfectly welcome to press him against a tree and make out under the guise of staying warm.

And of course, since everything was perfect, shit had to hit the fan.

Becca had the day off of school, so she was spending the whole day at home with him. This would’ve been great, were it not for the fact that Bucky had a horrible migraine and had been late taking his meds, which meant that he was not his usual patient self. And Becca, bless her soul, was not a quiet kid.

In the afternoon, he managed to get Becca satisfied with a coloring book, and he flopped down on the couch with an ice pack pressed to his head to enjoy the quiet. It lasted about forty seconds, when Becca came running up to him with his phone in her hands. “Daddy, someone’s calling!” she announced. Suppressing a groan, Bucky took the phone and saw Sam’s name on the screen. His blood ran cold and he took a deep, steadying breath before saying, “Bucky Barnes.”

“Hey, man,” said Sam. He sounded very tired. “We just got back, I figured I should call.”

“What’s wrong? Is Steve okay?”

“That depends on how you define it.”

Bucky practically growled into the phone. “Sam, is he hurt?”

Sam sighed. “He’s got a couple of cracked ribs,” he said, “a collapsed lung, a broken collarbone, dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist, and a few stab wounds.”

The room started spinning. Bucky grabbed onto the couch cushion, face ghostly white, as he tried not to worry Becca. Oh, god.  _ Oh god,  _ see, this, this was exactly what he’d been afraid of -

“Barnes, are you good?”

“Yeah,” he croaked into the phone. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hung up before he could hear Sam’s response. He could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. Steve. He had to get to Steve. 

Bucky through some miracle, managed to get in the car with Becca within five minutes. His knuckles were white as they clenched the steering wheel.

“Daddy?” Becca asked. “Where are we going?”

“Steve got hurt,” Bucky answered, trying to calm down so he didn’t scare her. “We’re going to go make sure he’s okay.”

“Oh. Like when Bubbe was sick?”

“Just like that.”

Becca hummed and went back to cheerfully looking out the window. Bucky took a moment to curse at himself for dragging her loving and carefree heart into all of this before shaking his head and focusing his attention on the road, giving thanks that the meds were finally starting to kick in. 

They made it to the Tower in record time, and Bucky didn’t have time to think about bringing the bag of snacks and toys with him when he scooped up Becca and hurried inside. The security guard must have been told to expect him, because he got up and directed Bucky to a second set of elevators. Bucky tried to breathe as Becca giggled at her reflection in the glass floor.

The second the door opened he tumbled out and almost collided with Sam. Sam looked just as surprised as Bucky for a second, but Bucky quickly realized that wasn’t the result of the near-collision—Sam was looking at Becca. Swallowing and glancing at Bucky, he crouched a bit and said, “You must be Becca. I’m Sam.”

Becca tucked her face into Bucky’s shoulder, suddenly shy. “C’mon, sweet pea,” Bucky said, anxious to find Steve. “Say hi.”

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi. I’ve heard you like  _ Moana _ ?” 

Becca lifted her head. Now he’s got her attention.

“Well, I found out today that Thor hasn’t seen it yet. I was wondering if you wanted to go watch it with him? We have a super big TV and lots of room to dance to all the songs.”

Becca smiled, and looked at Bucky. “You can go, sweet pea,” he said, setting her on the ground. Thor came striding up to them—and  _ wow _ , holy crap—and smiled at Becca.

“Hello, Miss Barnes,” he said in a deep voice. “I understand that you have a movie I need to see?”

Becca nodded, and allowed Thor to lead her off, sparing one last glance over her shoulder at Bucky, who grinned and gave her a thumbs up. As soon as they were gone, Sam beckoned him forward. 

“Didn’t think you’d want her here for this part,” he explained as they walked.

“No, you’re right. Thank you.” Bucky’s mouth was dry. “I couldn’t drop her off anywhere, there wasn’t time to find a babysitter—“

“It’s cool, man, we’re happy to have her.”

“Um, how is he?”

Sam stopped at a door, and Bucky could see monitors through the window. “See for yourself.”

Steeling himself, Bucky walked in, but not even his vivid imagination had prepared him for the sight of Steve in that hospital bed. His entire face was bruised, a medley of green and purple that made Bucky queasy. He had all sorts of lines and tubes inserted and there were bandages on his (also bruised) torso that were stained with blood.  _ Stab wounds _ . Bucky closed his eyes and tried to remember his breathing exercises. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Sam was asking if he was okay, but Bucky didn’t think to respond to that. He stepped forward and found a chair propped against the wall. Once he had positioned it by Steve’s bed, he sat down. Steve had very long eyelashes, he observed.

“If you’re good, man, I have to go,” Sam was saying apologetically. “They’re calling us all in for a debrief. It shouldn’t be long.” 

Bucky nodded, still not trusting himself to speak. Once he heard the door open and close, he carefully took Steve’s hand (the one without the broken wrist) and pressed it to his lips. He suddenly had an overwhelming urge to cry.

“Fuck,” he gasped out, resting his elbows on Steve’s bed and raking his hands through his hair. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.

Steve shifted beneath him, and Bucky looked up to see those ridiculously long eyelashes fluttering open. It took Steve’s eyes a second to focus on him. Once they did, though, his face broke out into a huge smile. 

“Buck,” he mumbled happily. 

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky said, biting back the tears. “How do you feel?”

“Fine.”

Bucky let out a wet laugh. “Yeah, okay. Let’s try that again, except don’t lie through your teeth this time.”

“I’m fine, Bucky,” Steve insisted. “It’ll heal.”

“I know it’ll heal, Steve, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” Steve just blinked at him. Bucky sighed and took his hand again. “Christ, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” Steve said, and he looked so sincerely apologetic that it made Bucky’s chest ache.

“It’s okay, Steve. I just wish you were more careful.”

Steve frowned and lifted his hand. One finger delicately touched the lines around Bucky’s eyes. “You’re sad.”

“A little,” Bucky admitted with a sad smile. “Last time I was in a hospital room like this, I lost an arm. Just a lot of memories coming back up. And I really don’t want anything like that to happen to you because I care about you, you reckless punk.”

“You’re a jerk,” Steve shot back sleepily. “You’re not allowed to be mean to me, I’m sick.”

“You’re not sick, you’re just an idiot.”

“‘Sides, if I lost an arm it would probably just grow back.”

Bucky made a pained noise. “Steve. It’s not about whether it would grow back or not. It’s about how much pain you’d be in.” Bucky noticed a cup of water on the table next to him and grabbed it. “Here, drink this.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Drink it.”

Steve pouted, but he allowed Bucky to tip the cup into his mouth. Bucky didn’t remove it until the cup was empty. “Doesn’t Becca have the day off?” Steve asked blearily.

“She’s watching a movie with Thor.”

“Buck—“

“Really, you saved me from an afternoon of migraine-induced nausea. You’re stuck with me.”

“‘M fine, Buck.”

“You have a collapsed lung. You aren’t fine.”

“No, you’re right. But you’ve got all the medicine I need, sugar.” Steve puckered his lips and Bucky laughed in spite of himself. 

“Jesus, Steve, how many drugs are you on?”

“Can’t a man just want a kiss from his best guy?”

“Your entire face is a bruise, I’m not kissing you.”

“Please.” 

“Very polite. Still not kissing you.”

Steve huffed. “You collapse one lung and all of a sudden your boyfriend won’t kiss you any more.”

“You are in a hospital bed!”

“My mouth isn’t broken. C’mere, let me prove it—“

A ball of happiness seemed to bubble up in Bucky’s chest. Steve was okay. He was going to be okay. Giddy, Bucky bent down to carefully kiss Steve, his hand light on Steve’s cheek. Steve was smiling as Bucky kissed him, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile too.

He stayed for a couple hours. Steve dozed off, and when he woke up again he was much more coherent and was suitably embarrassed for the barrage of pick-up lines he’d assaulted Bucky with before. Bucky didn’t realize how late it was until Becca toddled in and climbed into Bucky’s lap.

“I’m hungry,” she whined into his shirt. Bucky gave a half-smile to Steve,  _ what can you do _ , and started rubbing Becca’s back. Becca twisted around and saw Steve. “Oh,” she said quietly. 

Steve was frowning, and he tried to lift himself into a sitting position. “It’s alright, Becs. Just a few boo-boos.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, ouch is right.” 

Becca tilted her head. “Why is your face purple?” she asked.

“Those are bruises,” Bucky explained. “Remember when you fell on the playground and got a bruise on your knee?”

“Amy pushed me.”

“Amy knocked into you on accident, sweet pea.”

Becca’s nose scrunched up, and Bucky quickly moved on before this became a  _ thing  _ again. “Anyway, Steve was in a fight and he got hurt.”

“You’re not supposed to fight,” Becca informed Steve. “You’re supposed to use your words.”

Sam snorted behind them. Steve glowered at him.

“I know. But sometimes you have to fight to keep other people from getting hurt.”

Becca looked up at Bucky for confirmation. “That’s right,” Bucky said. “If someone else could get hurt and using our words doesn’t work, then it’s okay to fight and stand up for ourselves. What’s not okay is to start fights for no reason, and we should always try to use our words first. Here, pop up for a second.”

Becca hopped out of his lap, and Bucky placed her carefully on the chair before striding over to Sam, who was hunched over by the doorway. “Hey. Sorry for staying so long.”

“Dude, don’t worry about it,” assured Sam. “We’re glad to have you. Plus, Thor got to watch  _ Moana  _ twice, once in English, once in Spanish.”

“She loves ‘Cuán lejos voy.’”

“I heard. Literally, I heard her singing it.”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. “We should get going. Becca’s hungry, we need to get some food.”

“Or,” said Sam, crossing his arms over his chest, “you could stay here.”

Bucky blinked. “No, no, we—I can’t just move Becca around, and besides her kindergarten is in Brooklyn—“

“We’re the Avengers, man, we can get a four-year-old to school during rush hour.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking.” Sam gestured towards Steve, and when Bucky turned around he saw that Becca had climbed onto the bed and was curled into his side, both of them talking animatedly. “You’re good for him,” Sam said with a soft smile. “He’s happier when you’re around.”

“Becca…”

“We can have a movie night with all the Avengers in our movie room with hot chocolate and watch whatever she wants until she falls asleep.”

“...Okay, she’d actually love that.”

Sam grinned. “See, man, it all works out. Steve would never tell you, but I know he’d love it if you stayed.”

Bucky eyed him. “And you’re sure Becca will get to kindergarten on time?” he asked.

“Scout’s honor.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, smiling in spite of himself. “Let me ask Becca.” 

He turned away from Sam and walked back over to the hospital bed. 

“- and cat is  _ gato _ ,” Becca was saying. 

“Gato,” Steve repeated. 

“Yeah! I really want a kitty, but Daddy says I can’t have one until I’m older.”

“That’s right,” Bucky interrupted, catching their attention. Becca exclaimed happily.

“Daddy! I’m teaching Steve Spanish!”

“I can see! What have you learned, Steve?”

Steve straightened up and looked Bucky dead in the eye. “Perro. Gato. Cuán lejos voy.”

Bucky laughed and swooped in to kiss Becca on the cheek. “You’re already training him in  _ Moana  _ songs?” Becca gave him a look that said  _ of course.  _ He smiled and kissed her cheek again before asking her, “Hey, would you like to have a sleepover here? We can watch a movie with all the rest of the Avengers, and you can have hot chocolate, and—“

“Yes, yes, yes!” Becca stood and started jumping on the bed. Bucky scooped her up before she could fall on Steve’s broken ribs. “Can we watch  _ Moana _ ?”

“Again? You just watched it twice!”

Becca stared at him. 

“Sure,” Bucky said with a sigh, “you can watch  _ Moana _ .”

Becca cheered.

Well, that was easier than he’d thought it would be. 

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky wasn’t sure what he’d thought when Sam had assured him they’d get Becca to school on time. Maybe he was talking about speeding; what cop would ticket Iron Man? Or maybe there was some Avengers bullet train that went to her kindergarten. 

Whatever he’d expected, it wasn’t  _ this. _

_ “Fuck no,”  _ he said immediately. Stark lifted up his faceplate.

“But she’ll be fine!” He gestured to the harness wrapped around his suit. “Perfectly safe!”

“You are  _ not  _ fucking free-flying my daughter over New York.”

“It’ll be a two minute commute.”

“No! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?

Stark glanced down at the harness. “I mean, we can tighten the straps—“

_ “No.” _

Becca was late for school.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Steve and Pepper finally decided to do his interview with Ellen. A lot went into the decision. Namely, that Bucky had been watching a clip of Ellen with her wife Portia, Steve had seen, and Pepper hadn’t objected. Privately, Bucky thought it was a great idea. The idea of a reporter asking Steve questions had made him nervous, and he knew that Steve’s anxiety was increasing as they looked at more and more reporters and news shows. But Ellen would be fun. A few questions, some jokes, and apparently there were plans to scare Steve (that had been shut down when Pepper had reminded the staff that startling a vet probably wasn’t a fantastic idea). 

Since it was airing in the afternoon, Bucky was able to watch it live on TV after his morning at Stark Industries. The only downside was Steve had to fly out to LA. It was oddly quiet in the house without him, once Becca was asleep. Steve had been coming over so much he had gotten used to the company. Uncorking a bottle of red wine, because Becca 1 raved about the health benefits, and watching movies that weren’t  _ Moana. _ But now, Steve was in LA, and Bucky was stuck in a loop of  _ Moana _ in various languages. 

(Not that he minded much. It was a fucking great movie. But still.)

Anyway. Here sat Bucky, nursing his third cup of coffee, pretending to read his book instead of staring at the TV screen. They went to a commercial break, and he huffed a sigh. No way was he getting reading done until the interview was over. Sliding away his papers, he grabbed his phone and tapped out a text to Steve.

**Bucky** : _hey. feelin ok??_

**Steve** :  _ Yeah. Nervous. _

**Bucky** :  _ understandable _

**Steve** : _What if I can’t handle it? Maybe we shouldn’t do it live. I could still ask to change it._

**Bucky** :  _ u’ll b ok _

**Bucky** :  _ remember y ur doing this _

**Steve** :  _ To help other bi kids. _

**Bucky** : _ thats right _

**Bucky** :  _ so itll b ok. inhala, exhala _

**Steve** :  _ Inhale, exhale? _

**Bucky** :  _ bingo _

**Bucky** :  _ crazy smart AND pecs of gld _

**Bucky** : _ i won the lotto w u _

**Steve** :  _ I think it says more about Becca’s persistence in tutoring me than my intelligence. _

**Bucky** : _ ur right. my daughters the genius _

**Steve** :  _ No arguments here. _

**Steve** :  _ Gotta go, we’re about to start.  _

**Bucky** : _ inhala, exhala _

**Steve** :  _ Got it. :) Love you _

Bucky’s eyes snapped open. Suddenly, the coffee sitting in front of was completely irrelevant—he felt absolutely, unequivocally awake. But he didn’t have time to react before the sound from his TV drew his attention and they were playing some kind of triumphant song and Ellen stood up, one arm outstretched to where Steve was walking onstage. Steve was tucking his phone into his pocket as he walked on, wearing a half-alarmed smile. Ellen went to hug him. She stopped when he realized how tall he was, and hopped up on the coffee table so that she could reach. Bucky huffed a laugh with the live audience.

They sat down. Steve was scratching the back of his neck, a clear sign of anxiety despite the smile on his face.

“So,” Ellen was saying, “we all know why you’re here.” Cheering. “You’ve shared some pretty big news recently.” More cheering. “So please, we’re all dying to know...have you really not been to Coney Island in this century?”

The audience groaned, but Steve grinned. “Not once. Nothing can match what they had back then.”

“Shoot. And how  _ did  _ young Steve Rogers like the rides?”

“Young Steve Rogers liked them. Young Steve Rogers’s bad back, lungs, and stomach didn’t.”

Ellen laughed along with the rest of the audience. Bucky picked up his coffee to hide his smile. Steve was totally charming all of them.

“Although,” Steve started, “I don’t think everyone came to hear about my health issues. There were a lot of them, we’d be here all day.”

“Well as much as I’d enjoy talking about rheumatic fever with you, you might be right.” Ellen crossed her legs and her expression grew gentle, sympathetic. “So, you released a statement at the beginning of last month, coming out as—“

“Bisexual,” Steve finished. 

Ellen was still smiling softly, but the audience had lapsed into silence, not wanting to miss a word. “Right. So first things first, I guess, what prompted that? Why now?”

Steve took a deep breath before answering. Suddenly, Bucky really wished he was there in LA with him. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time,” he said. “Something that I’ve wanted to do since I was unfrozen, really, and they told me about how...that people were more accepting, now. I had just been finding reasons to put it off until I met Bu—“ Steve blushed and cut himself off. “Until I met my boyfriend.”

“Do we get to know anything about the boyfriend?”

“I guess that depends on what you want to know.”

Ellen stared directly into the camera, and the audience remembered they could laugh. “His name? How hot is he, on a scale from one to Beyonce?” 

Steve smirked. “Beyonce has nothing on him.” A flush crept up Bucky’s neck at the satisfied look on Steve’s face.

“This has to be one special guy.”

“He is.” Steve’s smile diminished slightly. “When they told me people were accepting now I was so happy. But I realized after a little while that things aren’t perfect. There are still problems. Problems that were around in the thirties, even. So it was easy to ‘stay in the closet,’ I guess, because that’s what I had always done, and it seemed like there was still reason to do it. But then I met this guy, and he’s...it suddenly became very important that everyone knew. That I could brag to the rest of the world that he’s mine.

“He’s gotta be the most patient guy in the world, cause let me tell you, he puts up with a lot. I’m not an easygoing person. And with my job, and...well, my notoriety, and all the press and bother that comes with that, he’s getting way more than he bargained for with me. So I figure it’s the least I can do to take this one thing off his plate, so he doesn’t have to hide just because I’ve chosen to hide.” 

“What’s it like, dating one of us normal people?”

“Terrifying,” Steve admitted. “But love is terrifying, no matter who you’re with. It doesn’t matter. You just can’t let fear make those decisions for you.”

Bucky’s phone pinged, and he glanced at it.

**_The Worse Becca:_ ** _ he’s so cute. U lucky bastard _

_ I want him to have his way with me but also bake cookies with him _

**_Bucky:_ ** _ hands off. hes takn _

He went back to watching the screen, where Steve was trying his level best to compete in some dancing game. He couldn’t keep the grin off his face. Lucky bastard, indeed.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky made it through the day with only a few desperate glances to his phone, and by the time he had picked up Becca, taken her to ballet rehearsal, fed her dinner, and made it back home, Steve was already there, one suitcase sitting by the stairs. Becca ran to him with a delighted squeal and Steve scooped her up, grinning as she grabbed at his face and hair. 

“I missed you, Becs.”

“Where did you go?”

“I went to Los Angeles.”

Becca looked at Bucky, confused. “That’s in California,” he explained.

“Why did you go to...there?”

“Because I had to meet with someone.”

“Okey-dokey.” Becca squirmed and Steve set her down. “Will you read to me?”

“Of course!”

Becca cheered and ran up the stairs, either not hearing or ignoring Bucky’s call to get ready for her bath. Steve turned to grin at Bucky. He shook his head, exasperated, and stepped forward to wrap Steve in a soft, earnest kiss. 

They broke apart, and Steve bent forward to rest their foreheads together. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” said Bucky. 

Steve smiled and kissed him again. 

They stayed like that until they were broken apart by Becca’s screech from upstairs and Bucky had to go help her bathe. She splashed around and put off bedtime as long as she could possibly manage, until Bucky finally managed to extract her. She slapped his face with her wet hair. Steve came in after she began screaming his name while Bucky wrangled her into some pajamas. He was not met with the wet hair. Bucky briefly had the desire to order Steve out—he was quickly becoming his daughter’s favorite. But any jealousy was done away with when he saw Steve, ridiculously larger than the rocking chair he was sitting on, reading to Becca while she was perched in his lap. As they were reading  _ If You Give a Mouse a Cookie _ , Bucky couldn’t help sneaking out his phone and snapping a picture to send to the sibling group chat. 

When they had finished reading that book (and two others—Steve was a weakling when it came to Becca’s sad face) Becca finally allowed herself to be tucked into bed. Bucky tugged up the blankets with his hand and brushed some hair from her face before kissing her forehead, Becca squiggling under the covers in response. 

“Te quiero, Becca.”

“Te quiero, Daddy.” He smiled and was almost out of the room when she said, “What about Steve, Daddy?”

Steve startled, and he gave Bucky a confused look. Bucky just nodded towards Becca. “The lady asked, Steve.”

Swallowing hard, Steve stepped forward and curled over Becca’s bed, dropping a hesitant kiss to her cheek. “G’night, Becs.” Bucky’s heart clenched. 

“Te quiero, Steve,” Becca mumbled happily. She flopped over and curled around her stuffed Pua, leaving Steve standing hunched over, with an expression of confusion, happiness, love, and concern mixing together on his face. He turned and followed Bucky out of the room. 

Bucky waited until they were in the kitchen, uncorking a bottle of wine, to say, “Speaking of love…”

Steve’s eyes snapped up to him. “I’m sorry,” he said immediately.

Bucky blinked. Well, that hadn’t lasted long. Goodbye love, hello loneliness. “Why?”

“I know it’s important to set boundaries with kids, and I’m not doing a good job at that right now—“

“Steve,” Bucky interrupted, exasperated, “that’s not what I was talking about, but while we’re on the subject, you haven’t done anything wrong. You read to her and play with her and she loves you. It’s simple.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “What were  _ you  _ talking about?”

Bucky poured out the wine into two glasses. “Before the interview,” he said slowly, “you texted me.” Steve’s face immediately broke out into a scarlet blush. “You said ‘love you.’”

Steve took the wine glass he was handed. “I did.”

“And?” Bucky glanced at him out of the corner of one eye as he took a drink. “Did you mean it?”

Steve stared into his drink before exhaling deeply. “Yeah. I...I did.” 

Bucky tried to hide his smile in his wine.

“I know it’s really soon,” Steve was saying. “We haven’t been dating for very long, but you’re just so...so incredible, and I do. I do love you.” Steve gave him a nervous look, long eyelashes hiding anxious eyes. “Is that okay?”

Bucky rolled his eyes as he put down the wine so he could tug Steve into an embrace. “Yeah,” he whispered, beaming. “It’s okay.” He leaned forward to kiss Steve, and felt Steve release the breath he’d been holding. “I love you too,” Bucky murmured against Steve’s mouth. Steve let out the most delightful little gasp and broke their kiss so he could look at Bucky, a watery smile on his face. 

“I love you,” he whispered. “You and Becca. You’re everything I could ever want.”

_ “Steve.” _

“No, let me say this. It’s gonna be really fucking sappy, but—look, even before the plane happened, I didn’t think this was ever in the cards for me. I didn’t think I’d live to see sixteen, let alone have time to get married and have kids. I didn’t know if I even wanted that. I didn’t want my kids to be stuck with the same problems I had. Then the war happened, and it was just the last thing on my mind, and then I woke up, and—it felt like any hope of that was gone. That it was too late, that part of my life was over, I’d never even get the choice. And then I met you.” Steve was  _ beaming _ , and Bucky was surprised to find himself blinking back tears. “You gave that to me, Buck. The choice. The chance to figure out what I want.”

“And what do you want?”

“You,” Steve answered immediately. “You and Becca, and—it’s probably way too soon for this, but a couple more kids, and a cat, and the white picket fence in the suburbs. All of it.”

“We aren’t getting a cat,” Bucky argued faintly. 

“Sure we aren’t. I’ve got Becca on my side, that’s a 2-to-1 majority.” Steve grinned and pressed another kiss to Bucky’s mouth. “Is this too much?” he murmured, frowning softly as he moved to kiss a trail to Bucky’s ear. “Too serious?”

“It might be a little fast,” Bucky said, distracted by Steve’s mouth, which was sucking and biting at the skin below his ear, “but screw it. I love you. You want more kids in the future? Good. So do I. So when we get there, we know we’ll be on the same page.”

Steve smiled. “When,” he repeated.

Bucky flushed. “Get up here,” he mumbled, tugging Steve up by the shirt collar so they could kiss properly. Bucky pressed forward and Steve took the hint, lifting Bucky up so Bucky’s legs could wrap around his waist. Bucky set to work, dipping down to hit the spot on Steve’s neck that always made him groan before moving back up to slip his tongue into Steve’s mouth, hand tangling in his hair. Yeah, Bucky had missed the wine and movies and conversation while Steve was gone—but  _ this _ , not having this should be a goddamn crime. Bucky experimentally nipped at Steve’s lip and grinned when he was rewarded with a soft moan.

They ended up on the couch eventually, Steve curled around Bucky and softly kissing his hair and the back of his neck, while Bucky wondered how he’d ever ended up so lucky. Steve shifted to pull Bucky closer into his arms. 

“What’s up? You’re quiet,” Steve murmured. 

“I’m thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.”

Bucky flipped over so he could smack Steve’s arm. Steve only grinned, taking this as an opportunity to begin kissing Bucky’s hairline. “What’re you thinking about?”

“Just wondering how I got to be so lucky.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Buck,” Steve whispered between feather-light kisses. “I’m the lucky one.”

Bucky closed his eyes, and allowed himself to be enveloped in the warmth of Steve’s embrace. He fell asleep with a smile on his lips. 

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Running. 

He was running.

Where?

To whom

?

Running.

He had to get out

Had to escape

No one was coming for him

He was alone

Alone

Alone

They had abandoned him

Left him to die

Someone pressed scalding metal to the soles of his feet

Bucky!

Why was he even running? What was the point? He was supposed to die there. Why couldn’t he just take it?

(Becca. Georgie. Mary. His ma.)

_ Bucky, hey, wake up— _

He ran, covered in blood that wasn’t all his, the soles of his feet crying out in pain with every step

When he couldn’t run, he walked

When he couldn’t walk, he crawled

He prayed. He could barely remember the Hebrew words, but he prayed.

The cold frosted his skin

The blood in his veins turned to ice

_ \- Jesus, Buck - _

They carved words into his skin

They put him in

_ The chair _

“Bucky! Bucky, hey, it’s okay, it’s just a nightmare, you’re safe—“

Bucky startled awake, arm flying out to fight an enemy that wasn’t there. He couldn’t breathe—god, his veins were so cold, why was it so  _ cold _ -

“Bucky, hey, it’s okay.” Bucky’s vision swam but even in his distorted view, he could see Steve. Steve. He needed to protect Steve.

“Breathe like I am, baby. Here.” Steve took his hand and Bucky thrashed, bucking up so hard any other man would’ve been knocked to the floor. Steve jerked back. 

“Okay, that was a bad idea...Just breathe, like this.” Bucky heard a deep inhale. Without thinking, he tried to match it, his breath coming out weak and shaky. Another breath. Bucky matched it again, gulping down oxygen in time to Steve’s calm and steady breaths. Again. Again. Again. 

Bucky’s vision focused, and he saw Steve in front of him. His arms were curled around himself, hands tucked under his armpits, physically restraining himself from reaching out to touch Bucky again. Bucky backed away. He ran into the edge of the couch and caught himself just before toppling over the arm.

“You’re okay,” Steve said, voice shaky. “It’s November 13th, 2018 and you’re in your house in Brooklyn. Becca’s upstairs sleeping. I love you. It’s okay. You had a nightmare.”

Bucky shivered and Steve made an aborted movement towards him, before remembering and stuffing his hands under his armpits again. 

“I’m cold,” Bucky whispered. 

“Okay. Okay, I can fix that.” Steve practically  _ leapt  _ off the couch to throw open the linen closet. He grabbed a pile of blankets and began wrapping them around Bucky, until Bucky had three fuzzy blankets tucked around him like he was a human burrito and he had to murmur something about being fine before Steve could finish unfolding the quilt his ma had made. Steve blushed and instantly dropped the quilt. 

“Sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “I, um...did you, do you need something? Water! Do you need water?”

“Steve, I’m fine.” Bucky managed to extract his hand from the blankets and hold it out towards Steve. “C’mere,” he said, tired. Steve stumbled forward and fell onto the couch beside him, fingers slipping between his cautiously. “I’m fine,” he murmured. “Um...Can you just, hold me? For a minute?”

Steve almost fell off the couch in his enthusiasm to comply. Bucky let out a shaky sigh, curling into Steve’s chest and feeling the warmth radiating off of him like a furnace. Steve’s arms were tight around him. His face was buried in Bucky’s hair.

“I didn’t hurt you,” Bucky said hoarsely. “Right?”

“No, Buck. I’m fine. Are you fine?”

“Yeah.” Bucky offered up a wry smile. “No.”

Steve hugged him tighter. Bucky steeled himself by taking a deep breathe and pressing his nose into Steve’s shoulder before saying, “I was a POW. I think you heard me tell Stark.”

“You don’t need to talk about it—“

“I know. I was in Special Forces. It was just a normal patrol. Routine. Me and a few other guys from my unit. One of them, Tim, was talking about his wife. She was pregnant. Eight months. He was trying to get furlough to be there for the birth.” Bucky swallowed. “And then it just happened. IED. I tried to get in front, my arm got torn up to hell. They started shooting. Two guys got hit. They ended up dragging me and Tim to some cave in the middle of nowhere. Started with the waterboards.” Steve made a pained noise, but Bucky ignored it. “He died eventually. They had me in the dark, so I don’t know if it was days or weeks, but he died. Then they started on me. My arm was shredded.” Bucky shifted to move further into Steve’s warm embrace. “This is when I was in Special Forces. Lots of classified work, y’know? So it didn’t take me long to figure out that no one was coming for me. They injected me with all sorts of drugs. Some were probably sedatives. Then once I was drugged up, they put me in the chair. It was...they had this thing that came over my head, and it made this awful buzzing noise, and…”

“Bucky,” Steve whimpered, pressing his face into Bucky’s neck. 

“I made it out. Could only remember my name, rank, and serial number. When I got back, I started going through withdrawals from the drugs, and my arm had gotten infected, so what was left had to be amputated.”

“I’m so sorry Buck,” Steve whispered. Bucky could faintly make out the feeling of tears wetting his shirt. “I’m sorry. I should’ve…”

“What, Stevie? Jumped out of the ice and run to Afghanistan? It’s not your fault.” 

Bucky stroked a hand through Steve’s hair, and Steve laughed bitterly. “I’m supposed to be comforting you.”

“You don’t need to be everyone’s rock, Steve,” Bucky murmured, continuing to comb his fingers through Steve’s soft hair, gently scratching his scalp. “You’re allowed to rest sometimes.”

“I’m putting you in danger. You and Becca. If Hydra finds out about you—“

Bucky sighed, exhausted from his nightmare, and pulled Steve closer. “I know. But I went into this with both eyes open. I can protect myself and Becca.” 

“I’m being so selfish.”

“Wanting to be happy isn’t the same as being selfish. Hey.” Bucky tilted Steve’s head up so their eyes met. “I chose this. I chose  _ you _ . And I’m never gonna regret that decision.” Bucky released Steve and slumped back into the cushions. “I’m not gonna get back to sleep tonight. You can go up to my room, get some quiet.”

Steve scooted closer and gave him a look that said,  _ dare me to move. _

Bucky smiled in spite of himself. “Hot chocolate and movies? Hope you don’t mind, I usually watch sad ones. A good cry can be really cathartic.” 

“Sounds perfect.”

They watched  _ The Fox and the Hound _ and sobbed.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“I can explain.”

Steve was standing on his doorstep, quickly becoming damp from snow, but Bucky was preoccupied with the tiny, shaking animal he held in the crook of his arm. 

“Is that a fucking  _ cat?” _

“She was abandoned!” Steve protested, stepping inside and shaking off his boots. He moved his arm so Bucky could get a better look at the cat. It was ugly. The runt of the litter, probably, with how small it was. Its gray fur was matted and soaked with snow and dirt. Bucky glared at it. “I heard her,” Steve was saying. “She’d been left in a box and she was calling out for help! I couldn’t just leave her there!”

“Steve,” Bucky said in what he felt was a very calm, steady voice, “please tell me you have plans to take that thing to the shelter.”

Steve’s face turned red. “Well…”

“Steve!”

“It’s just, it’s the first night of Chanukah, and I know Becca wants a cat, and it just seemed like fate, you know, that I would find her on my way over here—“

_ “Kitty!”  _

Becca came running, plowing past Bucky to get a better look at the runt in Steve’s arms. Steve at least had the decency to look guilty. “Daddy, can we keep her! Can we name her Moana?”

“We can’t keep her,” Bucky said with an icy glare at Steve. “You know that we have a no-pets rule, Becca.”

“But Daddy!” Becca whined. 

“We need to take her to the shelter.”

“It’s too late,” Steve said. “All the shelters are closed by now. We can’t drop her off until tomorrow, at least.” 

“She can stay with us!” Becca cheered. 

Bucky evaluated his options: one, he could let this mangy cat into his house for the night, or two, he could force it out into the streets for it to die in the cold and be forever branded as a monster by his daughter. He sighed. 

“Just for tonight,” he said sternly, but Becca didn’t hear. Steve gently set down the cat and Becca immediately started playing with it, patting its fur. Steve sent him a self-deprecating smile. Bucky allowed himself to be kissed on the cheek before Steve went to remind Becca to be gentle.

“C’mon,” he said after a few minutes. “It’s almost sundown, we’ll have to light the candles.”

The cat promptly puked on the carpet.

An hour later, Bucky found himself sitting in a 24-hour vet clinic, that stupid cat on his lap, puking every time someone dared try to feed it. The lady at the front desk called them back, and Bucky followed with a grumble. Steve and Becca trailed along behind him. 

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “It looks like she has a pocket in her throat. She’s puking up bile, yes, but there are also chunks of undigested food that can’t have possibly come from her stomach. It’s interesting, this is usually a problem with older cats; I’ve never seen it in a kitten before.”

“Great,” muttered Bucky. “Just my luck.”

“Surgery is an option, but it would be very exploratory since it’s such a rare case, and she’ll probably grow out of the vomiting—at least, vomiting so frequently. I’d recommend hand feeding her dry food, a few pieces at a time, while holding her upright. I’ll make sure you leave with some flea and tick medication. I noticed that she has an infection; I’ll give you a cream for it, you just need to apply it three times a day to the base of her tail. I’d also recommend a special food, since she’s suffering from malnutrition. You’ll also want to get her back here as soon as possible to be spayed. She looks maybe eight weeks. So you can wait a couple of weeks before bringing her in, to be on the safe side, but you’ll definitely want it done or you’ll have a whole litter on your hands.”

Bucky turned to glower at Steve. He ducked his head and became very interested in the poster on the wall.

“Will she be okay?” Becca asked, standing on her tiptoes so she could see the cat. It immediately walked up and began rubbing itself against her face. 

“I don’t see any cause for alarm, as long as we make sure she has a nice, full tummy,” answered the vet. “I’ll go ahead and get you some of our nutrition-enhanced kitten food and that tail cream I mentioned, and then you can talk to Patty about making an appointment to come back and get her spayed.”

“She’s not our cat,” Bucky said quickly. “That one -” pointing at Steve “- found her on the street a couple hours ago. We’re gonna take her to a shelter”

The vet looked from him to Becca to the cat that was happily settled in the crook of her elbow, and smiled. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll go get that stuff for you.”

Bucky swore he heard the damn vet chuckling as he walked out. 

Bucky almost had a heart attack at the bill they handed him (that kitten food was a  _ scam _ , but it wasn’t like he could just not feed her until they could get her to a shelter), but then remembered they had no supplies for a kitten and ended up having to stop at a pet supply store on the way home. Becca wanted a fancy litter box because it was purple, and then this specific brand of litter because it had flowers on it and the cat on the packaging looked happy, and then she spent half an hour showing different food bowls to this fucking cat to see which one it liked the best, and then she wanted to get toys, and then fucking Steve reminded them that cats need something to scratch and somehow Bucky ended up with an entire cat jungle gym in his cart.

The cat was grinning at him triumphantly. 

“We need to name her!” Becca announced once they were all safely back in the car.

“How about La Diabla,” Bucky muttered, earning him an elbow to the side from Steve. 

Steve turned to look at Becca in the backseat. “What name do you think fits?” he asked. 

“Moana!”

“Becca, we are not naming the cat Moana.”

“Why not?” Becca whined. 

“Because we don’t need everything to be Moana-related!”

“Steve likes it!”

Bucky glanced over at Steve. He held up his hands and said, “I’ve learned my lesson, I’m staying out of it. Becs, this is between you and your dad.” Becca whined and kicked the back of Steve’s seat. 

“We don’t need to name the cat,” Bucky said. “We’re taking it to a shelter tomorrow, they can name it there.”

“Why can’t we keep her?”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because, Becca, you’re too young to take care of her.”

“Steve can take care of her!”

“Steve doesn’t live with us, Becca. It’s not Steve’s responsibility.”

“I mean, I could help out,” Steve said, and immediately shut up as Bucky sent him a withering glare. “Nevermind. I’ll just look out the window.”

“See, Daddy!” Beca screeched, capitalizing. “Steve will help!”

“Steve is not going to help, because we aren’t keeping the cat.”

Becca cried all the way to bed, and Bucky and Steve were left to assemble that fucking cat gym while the cat watched them from its perch on the stairs, and honest-to-god smirk on its face. The damn thing won’t win this war, Bucky promised himself. 

And the vest made out of a beach towel printed with a hairy chest that Steve gifted him on the last night of Chanukah did nothing to lift his spirits. Nothing. At all. Seriously, he was still furious with that asshole. The towel vest was in no way hilarious and endearing. 

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

Bucky trudged back into his house and kicked the snow from his boots. Steve glanced up from the couch, where he was reading some biography. The bastard fucking  _ smirked. _

“Had a problem?”.

Bucky scowled and put down the three cat carriers. Moana quickly ran to introduce her new siblings to the Barnes living room. “Stevie, shut the fuck up. They euthanize there! I can’t just send a cat to her death!”

“And the other two?”

Bucky shifted his weight, avoiding Steve’s eyes. “Look, if I left them after I realized what was happening I would’ve been an accomplice to their murder and they could’ve come back and haunted me for the rest of my life.”

“Want me to come with you to buy more cat food?”

“Yes, please.”

When Becca got back from her January Beccas Sleepover, she screeched so much that Bucky almost felt like he needed to get the cats’ hearing checked.

By the end of the night Moana, Mulan, and Miguel were official members of the family.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“I’ve got three fucking cats,” Bucky grumbled as he took a swig of beer. “One’s missing a leg, one’s old as dirt and pees all over my house, and one gets infections every other day and pukes every time someone goes  _ near  _ her.”

“You didn’t have to adopt them,” Big Becca reminded him as she dried the dishes.

“Yeah I fucking did. That’s how the little shits get themselves adopted. They act all cute and innocent and then go to get killed and you just get stuck with them and all of a sudden they develop  _ incontinence issues!” _

Becca laughed, and Bucky glowered at her before resuming his tirade. “I don’t like cats. I don’t have anything against them, really, but I didn’t want a cat. Becca’s too young to take care of a cat. We agreed we’d talk about it when she was older, but fucking Steve shows up on my doorstep with an abandoned kitten and now I have three cats. And I can’t get rid of any of them, because then Becca will see me as that monster who sent three cats to their deaths!”

Becca set down her dishrag and turned to face Bucky. “You know,” she said, “I can tell this cat thing is really annoying you. Because you haven’t noticed all night.”

Bucky stopped, and frowned. His eyes began to flit around the room, over his sister—a haircut, was that it? Or was that a new shirt? How was he supposed to keep track of his sister’s entire wardrobe—

His mind went blank when he saw the ring on her finger.

“Oh my god.”

Becca smiled and shrugged. “Joe proposed,” she said, a little breathless.

“I…” Bucky couldn’t tear his eyes away. “You...I…”

“Jesus, Bucky, it’s not like you just got engaged—say something, please. I know I wanted to wait until I was more established in my career but I’ve been in the oncology ward for a while and I think I’m stable there and there will never be a perfect time, you know, but Joe just got this promotion and we have a good amount of money saved up—but if you think it’s a bad idea I won’t do it. Is it a bad idea? It is, isn’t it? I haven’t known him long enough—“

“Becca,” Bucky interrupted quietly, tears springing into his eyes. “I’m so happy for you.”

Becca exhaled like the weight of the world was being moved off her shoulders and she rushed forward to wrap Bucky in a hug. He hunched over to hook his chin on her shoulder. He tried not to cry.

His baby sister. His baby sister, who had introduced him to his daughter. Who was the kindest, smartest, best person in all of New York, was getting married. Married. 

“I want to talk to this kid,” he murmured into her ear. “Let him know exactly what’s coming for him if he does anything to hurt you.”

Becca laughed and pulled away, wiping at her eyes. “Go easy on him. You’ve driven off too many of my boyfriends.”

“I don’t drive off anyone.”

“Jason?”

“That guy was batshit drunk and trying to feel you up during dinner!”

“I didn’t mind.”

“I know  _ you  _ didn’t,” Bucky said with a scowl. “That’s why I meet the guys. So I’m not just depending on your personal opinion. Now, show me the binder.”

Becca frowned. “I just got engaged yesterday, I haven’t had time to make a wedding binder.”

Bucky gave her an unimpressed look.

“...It’s in my closet. I’ll go get it.”

“That’s my girl.”


	4. Spring

[ ](https://images2.imgbox.com/05/3a/G2HK03Mk_o.jpg)

Plans for Becca’s birthday had begun approximately thirteen minutes after the end of her last birthday. As with many newly-turned four-year-olds, Becca had drifted off to sleep babbling about how soon she’ll be five, which is _super_ old, and she would definitely be allowed to do whatever she wanted by then. 

As the fourteenth neared, Bucky, although he knew Becca’s hopes of free-reign were ill-founded, was in a constant state of mild panic. His little girl was five. _Five._ That was half of a goddamn decade. He could still remember her third birthday like it was yesterday. That had been the birthday of the big girl bed; Becca had screamed for joy all day and wailed from terror all night. But anyways, five was a milestone, and Bucky wanted to make it as memorable as it could be for someone who had the long-term memory of a goldfish. 

However, his parents were still on the cruise he and his sisters had bought them for Chanukah, and Mary and Georgie’s kids were already back in school, which meant they couldn’t make the drive down to the city. Only Becca 1 was able to come, and even she could only stay a couple of hours, what with her hospital shifts and wedding planning. The performer Amy’s mom had recommended had come down the goddamn flu. There was so much snow and ice that Bucky didn’t feel safe driving out to the ice rink he had planned to take Becca to. Even Steve couldn’t make it thanks to a call to ship out with the rest of his team. In short, her amazing milestone birthday was having some setbacks.

On the morning of her birthday, Bucky woke up at five to make sure he had time to get breakfast ready before Becca woke up. He made as big a stack of pancakes as their limited batter supply would allow and spent more time than a grown man should arranging blueberries in the whipped cream to spell out, ‘BECCA’S 5!’ In hindsight, he thought as he finished the exclamation point, maybe he shouldn’t have made so many pancakes. At 5:45 on the dot, he heard the telltale sound of running feet and Becca came flying down the stairs. “Daddy!” 

“Happy birthday, sweet pea!” Bucky scooped her up and blew a raspberry on her cheek, which made her giggle and squirm in his arms. She caught sight of the pancake platter, and screeched.

“Birthday pancakes?” 

“Want some?”

“Yes, please!” 

Bucky set her down with a grin and went to get her pancake (she wanted the one with the second ‘C’ on it). As he set it down in front of her, he asked, “Can I have some of your special birthday pancakes too?”

“Yeah, Daddy! You can have the ‘B.’”

Bucky was about to plate his designated pancake when the doorbell surprised both of them. Becca turned to look at him. “Is Auntie B here? ‘Cause then she should get the ‘B’ pancake.” 

“Auntie Becca couldn’t come until this afternoon,” Bucky answered distractedly, as he tried to wipe off some of the pancake-making debris from his face and shirt before he answered the door. He hurried over to the door and glanced through the peephole.

“Oh my god.”

He swung open the door, grinning from ear-to-ear. Steve was on his front step, holding a thin package with a large bow stuck to it, still in his uniform and covered in dirt. “I thought you couldn’t come!” 

“Got back early,” Steve said with a sheepish smile. The cats swarmed him and he bent down to scratch each of their heads.

“How early?”

“Um...ten minutes ago?”

“Daddy, who--Steve!” Becca came sprinting, slamming into Steve’s legs and stomping on his feet. “Daddy said you were gone!” Her nose wrinkled and she pulled away slightly. “You’re gross.”

Steve burst into laughter, which led to him clutching his side (and Bucky would be asking about that injury later, no way was he getting away with that). “I had to hurry so I could be here for your birthday. I didn’t get a chance to clean myself up yet.”

“Daddy made pancakes,” Becca informed him proudly. “You can have some, there’s a bunch. But don’t eat mine, okay?”

“I won’t,” Steve answered with a serious look. Becca beamed and bounced away, hunger and pancake-excitement now winning out over the surprise of seeing Steve. That gave Bucky time to pull him in off the stoop and examine him a little more thoroughly. His face was streaked with dirt and there were dark circles under his eyes. 

“Did you get any sleep?”

Steve shrugged, setting down his helmet and the package. “Some, on the plane.”

“You should be resting, you just got back--”

“Hey,” Steve interrupted gently, slipping one hand into Bucky’s. “I’m happy right here, if you’ll have me. Everything else can wait.”

He leaned forward to kiss Bucky and as Bucky lifted his hand to brush against his cheek, bits of dirt rolled off onto his fingertips. He batted Steve away with a laugh. “I’m not sure a shower can wait.”

“Fair point.”

“Go upstairs. Can’t have you smelling like that on my daughter’s birthday.”

Steve rolled his eyes and pressed a feather-light kiss to Bucky’s cheek. “Don’t start any Moana without me.”

“No promises there.”

Bucky actually did manage to hold Becca off with pancakes and hot chocolate until Steve came back downstairs, hair wet and wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants from his drawer. They watched the special sing-along version of _Moana_ on the TV. Becca insisted everybody sing, and even made Steve get up and do the dances with her, although admittedly he didn’t need a lot of coaxing. They also watched _Mulan_ and _Coco_ so that the other two cats wouldn’t feel left out. They walked to the park and made a birthday snowman, had a second round of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, and took pictures for Bucky to send to the family before Becca began asking about presents.

Bucky had the new part-time gig at Stark Industries, but every penny of that money had been going into Becca’s college fund, so he was still living on the stay-at-home dad budget. He had gone back and forth with himself for days before deciding to splurge and get Becca one big gift. Once he’d handed her the envelope, he settled down on the couch next to Steve and pulled out his phone to record a video as Becca began tearing into the envelope.

His daughter had gone very still in his camera. “...Becca? You okay, sweet pea?”

Becca turned towards him, wagging the piece of paper. “Daddy, what’s this?”

“That? Oh, it’s just a ticket...for Bubbe to take you to Disney World so you can meet Moana.”

Bucky would have to do some sound editing so his ma could watch the video without losing her hearing, but it was worth it. Becca attacked him with a hug, bouncing and shrieking and whipping the paper back and forth, and knocked his phone from his hand. “Thank you, Daddy!” she screeched. She turned and waved the paper in Steve’s face. “Steve, look!”

“I see it!” Steve exclaimed, a goofy grin threatening to split his face in half.

Bucky waited for Becca to calm down a little bit. Once she had stopped vibrating and was staring at the paper in silent reverie, he said, “You have one more gift to open, y’know.”

Becca’s little mouth dropped open. _“More?”_

“Steve has a present for you.”

Steve gave him a panicked look and whisper-yelled, “I can’t follow that!” But at Becca’s expectant look, he sighed and reached behind his back to grab a thin wrapped package. “It’s not a lot - “

Becca was already tearing into the wrapping paper. Eyebrows furrowed, she pulled out a long, thick piece of artboard. “...It’s just a painting,” Steve said morosely. 

“Thanks, Steve,” Becca said with a strained smile. Bucky knew that smile. That was her, ‘I’m disappointed but am not allowed to be rude and/or throw a fit,’ smile. 

“What’s wrong, sweet pea?”

“...Moana doesn’t look like that,” Becca explained in a halting voice. She turned the painting around so Bucky could see. Standing on the ocean shore, surrounded by playful waves, stood a little girl with a puff of curly hair and a dimpled smile, holding a three-legged cat and beaming. Two other cats were at her feet, curled around a stuffed pig.

“Becca,” Bucky said, unable to suppress his smile, “it’s _you.”_

“Huh?”

“It’s not Moana, sweet pea, it’s you. See, you’re holding Mulan, and Moana and Miguel are on the ground next to - “

“My Pua!” 

Becca’s eyes had lit up, and a few fingers reverently brushed the painting. “That’s my hair! And my kitties!” She threw herself into Steve’s arms and yelled, “Steve! Thank you, Steve! Thank you, thank you!” 

“Oh - uh, you’re welcome.” 

Becca whirled around. “Daddy! Can we put it on my wall?”

“Of course, Becca. Do you want to hang it next to your Moana poster?”

“Nuh-uh. I don’t want that one. I want Steve’s picture instead.”

She hugged Steve again, tiny arms wrapped around his neck, and Steve carefully hugged her back with a pleased, confused, adoring look on his face. After a few minutes, he shut his eyes and tightened his arms around her, letting out a long sigh and beaming. Bucky picked his phone up from the floor, snapped a picture, and decided that this was the happiest he’d ever been.

That night, after Steve had volunteered to clean up the remains of their birthday dinner--spaghetti, but served out of a bowl shaped like a coconut for that Moana flair--Bucky began the surprisingly easy task of putting Becca to bed. She’d been uncharacteristically silent throughout dinner, and it wasn’t until she was in bed and he was about to turn off the light that he heard her say softly, “Daddy, Steve’s Captain America, right?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s right.”

“Is he gonna die?”

Bucky’s eyes widened and he sat down on the edge of her bed. “Why would you think that, sweet pea?”

“Because Captain America fights people. Like when Steve came today, he was dirty and smelly because he had been fighting. And when people fight they get hurt, and you said that Emmy’s dad died because _he_ got hurt.”

Bucky was completely at a loss for words. He couldn’t flat out deny it; it _was_ a possibility. How was he supposed to explain this to a five-year-old? He hadn’t even realized Becca had linked all this. “Steve does get hurt sometimes,” he said slowly, “but that doesn’t mean he’s going to die.”

“I don’t want Steve to die.”

“I don’t want Steve to die either.” Bucky brushed some hair from her forehead. “But Steve is very careful and always tries to stay safe. Sometimes that’s the best we can do.”

“But why is he Captain America?”

Bucky thought for a moment before answering, “Remember when we were watching the news the other day? And we talked about how some people get treated unfairly and end up in dangerous places?” Becca nodded. “That’s why Steve’s Captain America. He helps protect people who can’t protect themselves.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It’s a very important job.”

“...That’s scary.”

“It is scary,” Bucky agreed, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not still important.”

Becca snuggled into her pillow, clutching her stuffed Pua. “I wanna be Captain America when I grow up.”

Bucky smiled and kissed her on the forehead. “You’d be a _great_ Captain America,” he said. “But for right now, let’s focus on getting some sleep.”

“I love Steve,” Becca sighed happily. “I want him to stay forever.”

“Me too, sweet pea.”  


[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“There’s nothing to be nervous about,” Steve reminded him as one hand clasped Bucky’s. Steve briefly let go to make a right turn. “I’ll be there to help with Becca after the surgery. And remember, all they’re doing today is making sure you have enough bone strength to support the arm, and then they’ll show you a prototype. You don’t have to do anything else.”

“Steve,” Bucky muttered, eyes tightly shut, “stop talking.”

Steve obeyed.

When they pulled up at Stark Tower, a sense of complete dread came over Bucky, and for a moment he seriously considered going back home instead of up there, where he would be poked and prodded like a lab rat. But for some reason, it was Becca’s ballet class that made him grit his teeth and swing open the door. She was supposed to practice with a partner—he needed two hands so he could dance with his daughter. He started marching for the elevator, fully conscious of the fact that if he took a moment to stop and think about it anymore he wouldn’t make it up there.

Steve held his hand in the elevator, and Bucky was reminded of another reason he was doing this; Steve deserved someone who was whole.

Bucky didn’t end up remembering most of the visit. The only things he knew for sure was that he was a perfect candidate for a Stark prosthetic, and that Stark had shown him the arm. _His_ arm. 

“It’s metal,” Bucky said blankly. 

“Yep,” said Stark, obviously proud of himself. “Titanium alloy. Lightweight and virtually indestructible.”

“I have a daughter...won’t it scare her?”

Stark scoffed. “Any kid would be lucky to see such a technological marvel. Besides, Bruce is making a sleeve or something to go over it if you want to cover it up. Although I would recommend you don’t. We’re doing this for free, you might as well give Stark Industries some advertising after.

“Tony,” Steve said in a warning voice.

“Yeah, yeah, personal decision, blah blah, whatever. Alrighty Buckaroo, we’ve got your measurements. Come back in two weeks for the surgery and then bing bang boom, you’ve got a brand new arm. Oh!” Stark leaned forward to stage whisper in Bucky’s ear. “We can also talk about arm functions. I’m talkin’ vibrating fingers and—“

“Tony!” Steve barked, face going red. 

Thus went the consultation. 

The surgery itself was a different beast entirely. The trial was experimental, so most of the information was secured by a non-disclosure agreement, but Bucky had explained as much as he could to his sisters and dropped Becca off at Georgie’s, so she could play with her cousins. The house seemed too big and quiet without her. Luckily, Steve was able to take a break from the world-saving, which meant they could at least use this opportunity to have sex on every surface in his house. There’s always a silver lining, right?

They went into Avengers Tower at five in the morning. The surgery would take all day, if Stark was to be believed, which was why Bucky was awake at this ungodly hour, glowering at every cup of coffee they passed by. Steve had forgone coffee in a pledge of solidarity, but these doctors and lab techs were by no means as loyal. 

When Bucky woke up in the hospital bed, the empty space where his arm should’ve been was replaced by a metal anchor. Steve looked up from his book and said, “Buck? Hey there, how are you feeling?” 

Bucky grabbed the metal arm on the table next to him and bent down the fingers to make a thumbs-up.

[ ](http://imgbox.com/mD50bVFZ)

“The hat? Really?”

Steve huffed. “I’m telling you, it works!”

“A pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap is not a disguise. You look weird.”

“In a good way?” Steve asked with a smirk.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “No, not in a good way.” A shuffling at the end of the row of chairs caught his attention; he waved at his ma as she took the seat next to Becca, ignoring the little jolt that went through him. It had been two months since the surgery, but he still wondered if he’d ever get used to the sight of the metal arm.

“So,” Steve was saying, “what exactly happens at a kindergarten graduation?”

“Nothing, really. They sing some songs and get a little diploma. It’s silly.”

Steve gave him a sideways glance. “You’re out of your mind with excitement, aren’t you?” 

Bucky couldn’t suppress his grin. “A little. My baby girl is graduating!"

There was an insistent poking on his shoulder; he turned to see Non-Kindergarten Becca holding out her phone. “Jamie, what do you think about this dress?”

Bucky took the phone and examined it. “It looks great,” he said, “if your first dance is going to include a stripper pole.”

“Oh my god, you suck.”

“You can save it for the wedding night. Besides, if your dress doesn’t have some kind of sleeve, Ma will kill you.”

“I’m not sure,” said Becca pensively. “If I drop that bomb after the one where we’re getting married by a non-denominational minister, it might not seem so bad.”

“I thought the plan was to not mention that until the ceremony.”

Becca shrugged. “Anyway,” she continued, swiping at her phone, “what do you think of this for the venue?”

“Oh my god. Rebecca Eleanor, you cannot get married in a barn.”

“Why not? The rustic look is cute.”

“You’re allergic to hay, idiot.”

Becca huffed. “Asshole.”

“I’m an asshole for being right?” 

“Hey.”

Bucky glanced up at Steve, who grinned slyly and pulled him in for a slow kiss. “Stop calling your sister names.”

“She’s the one calling me names,” Bucky muttered, drawing Steve in for another kiss, “but I see your point.”

“Be right back,” Becca said cheerfully. “I’m just going to go throw up.” 

Bucky flipped her off with his metal hand. At her offended look, he smirked and said, “Whoops, sorry. Must be a hardware malfunction.”

“Fuck off, James.”

“You can’t cuss me out at a kindergarten graduation! Think of the children!”

“You’re a little - “

“That’s a good point, Becca,” Steve interrupted. “Mrs. Barnes, what do you think?” 

Bucky’s ma looked around, just in time to see the withering glare Becca sent at Steve. “Rebecca, a smile wouldn’t kill you. What were you saying?”

“Oh,” said Becca with a forced smile at Steve, “just that it’s funny how things can happen to people out of the blue, when they aren’t expecting it. You’re walking down the street, drinking your coffee, _bam!_ Someone chooses that moment to exact revenge.”

“...That’s a very strange thing to be thinking about at your niece’s graduation. You spend too much time at the hospital, dear, it isn’t good for you.”

Bucky leaned over to whisper in Steve’s ear, “I cannot believe you sicced my ma on my sister.”

“I didn’t know what else to do, I’m sorry - “

“You have never been sexier. When Becca goes to bed tonight, you’re gonna get it _so good_. Just wait. Soundproof walls aren’t just for PTSD-induced night terrors, y’know.”

Bucky thoroughly enjoyed the deep shade of pink that Steve’s entire face turned. His response was cut off by the beginning of what sounded like carnival music blaring through the speakers. Bucky’s attention immediately turned to the stage, where a teacher was marching out a troop of kids. Becca, wearing the special purple sweater and yellow-and-green-striped skirt that she’d picked out that morning, bounced out onto the stage somewhere in the middle of the pack. When she caught sight of the Barnes family entourage, she stopped to yell and wave. This came as an unexpected development to the little boy behind her, who was distracted by picking his nose, and the little girl behind him was too busy trembling in fear and staring at her shoes to react in time. A pile-up like no other formed in front of them on the stage as kid after kid stumbled forward and tripped over their peers. The terrified girl took off one shoe and burst into tears. 

Becca, still upright and blissfully unaware of the chaos unfolding behind her, waved one last time and then bounced over to stand next to her classmates. 

Once the teachers had rushed over and all the kids were back on their feet, the speakers began blaring a distorted version of some kids song and the kids began dancing. Well, dancing might be a generous term. Most of the kids were just sort of swaying or bouncing. Now Becca, she was dancing. She began in a perfect first position, transitioned flawlessly into a plie, and performed a pirouette that would’ve put Misty Copeland’s to shame. Bucky’s daughter was a prodigy. Was it too early to apply to Julliard? 

After a couple more songs, they lined the kids up and began asking them what their favorite part of the year was. Most kids, entranced by the microphone, gave unintelligible answers. When it was Becca’s turn, she gave the mic a wondrous look, poked it, and then grinned, awaiting her question. 

Her teacher knelt down beside her. “What was your favorite part of this year, Becca?” 

“Um…” Becca’s eyebrows furrowed for a second, and then her face lit up. “I know! My daddy and his new arm and my kitties and Steve! I have lots of favorite parts. But Steve is my _most favorite_ favorite part. He can push me super high on the swing and he brought home one of my kitties from a box! And he gives super good hugs. Not as good as my daddy’s or bubbe’s, but still super good.”

Steve had gone completely still beside Bucky. As they moved on to the next kid, Bucky leaned over to whisper, “You okay?” 

Steve nodded, lips tight. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” He reached under those stupid sunglasses to wipe his eyes with his sleeve and gave a wet laugh. “I’m really, really good.” 

Bucky pressed a kiss to his cheek. Steve sighed, and slid his hand into Bucky’s metal one. “I love you and Becca so much.”

“We love you too.”

Steve beamed and bent forward to press a tender kiss to Bucky’s lips. Behind them, Becca 1 rolled her eyes, but her true feelings were betrayed by a poorly-smothered smile. Bucky flipped her off with his new arm anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys! I got sick :0 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Summer, Part 2

[ ](https://images2.imgbox.com/ca/56/40qcYsen_o.jpg)

“Stop crying,” Becca said sternly, “you’ll ruin your makeup. Can’t have you looking like a hobo on my big day.

“It’s a big day for me too,” Bucky argued, swiping at his eyes. “Not every day my Becca gets married.”

“Seriously. No crying.”

Bucky made a big show of rolling his eyes, which made Becca chuckle, although she tried to cover it up. “Fine.” He looked at her. She was beautiful, in her long lacy white dress, hair pinned up on her head. Breathtaking. Something tugged at Bucky’s heart as he watched her finish putting on her earrings and he couldn’t tell if he was sad or ecstatic or something else entirely. 

Becca let out a deep breath and turned to face him, holding out her arms. “What do you think?”

“I think,” Bucky said, “that if he doesn’t cry when he sees you, I’ll show him the real meaning of the term ‘shotgun wedding.’”

Becca rolled her eyes. “It’s not a shotgun wedding. We’ve been together for five years!”

“Well let’s see, Becca, you’re three months pregnant and only just now getting married. Qualifies as a shotgun to me.”

Becca scowled at him, but there was no animosity behind it, and Bucky grinned as he stepped forward to pull her into his arms. “Hey,” he said softly, “I’m really proud of you. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.” He bent down to kiss her hair, carefully avoiding any protruding bobby pins. “Te quiero, sweet pea.”

“Te quiero, Dad.”

The door swung open and Steve came bursting in, suit somewhat rumpled. “Alright,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his beard, “we’ve found and restrained Will and Rosie, Will’s up front with Stuart and Rosie’s bridesmaid dress is  _ on _ , I’ve got Nat keeping an eye on her for—“

Steve cut himself off and stopped, taking sight of Becca. Tears welled in his eyes. “Oh, Becs,” he whispered. “You look beautiful.”

“Told ya he’d be the first one to cry,” Bucky said under his breath, fully aware that Steve could hear him. Steve batted a hand at him and he smirked. 

“I’m so excited for you.” Steve pulled her into a hug, ignoring her half-protests about wrinkling her dress. “I love you so much, Becs.”

“I love you too, Papa.”

Steve smiled, eyes watery, and tucked a stray piece of hair behind Becca’s ear. “I never, ever thought I’d have this,” he murmured. “I knew from the day I turned 10 that I’d die young. Maybe I’d make it long enough to get married, maybe even long enough to have a kid, but I never in my wildest dreams imagined I’d get to walk my daughter down the aisle. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Becs. You and your dad and your siblings. Just when I was about to give up on life, on trying to find meaning, there you were, bawling your eyes out over a Moana doll.” 

Becca laughed, although Bucky could tell she was close to crying too. “Thank you,” Steve continued, “for letting me be a part of your life. Thank you for letting me love you. I’m so proud to call you my daughter.”

Becca surged forward to wrap her arms around Steve, eyes tightly shut to keep from crying, and Bucky studiously looked away before he started crying too. He had to make it through walking her down the aisle, at least.

“I love you, Papa,” she whispered. 

There was a knock on the door; Sam stuck his head in through the crack. “Captain America, here to escort the bride to the ceremony.” 

“Head on out to the car, Becs,” Bucky said, pressing another swift kiss to the part of her hair that wasn’t studded with bobby pins. “We’ll round up everyone and follow you there.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure my siblings are all perfectly calm and ready to go.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and turned to Steve, but his beloved husband just smirked and said, “She gets the sarcasm from you, pal.”

Becca winked. She pulled them both into a tight hug, then stepped back with a sigh and, grinning, followed Sam out of the room. Steve turned to look at Bucky. 

“So, do we bribe them with chocolate ice cream at the reception, or guilt them by saying if they don’t get in the car they’ll ruin their sister’s wedding day?” 

“It’s a chocolate fountain now.”

“Perfect.” 

Bucky stepped forward without thinking and pulled Steve in for a long, firm kiss. Steve smiled. “What was that about?” he murmured, one hand brushing the stubble on Bucky’s cheek.

“I love you.”

Steve kissed him again, soft and sweet. “I love you too, Buck. Now, come on. Our daughter’s getting married.”

Bucky squared his shoulders, took a deep, steadying breath, and then, one hand holding his husband’s, followed him out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the short little epilogue <3 the beautiful headers were made by Huntress79 and the incredible art was one of HeyBoy's. I've been working on this fic, on and off, for almost three years, so I am feeling a lot of things now that it's done XD let me know what you thought of it in the comments!
> 
> I'm on tumblr as imhereforgaysuperheroes!


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